Many parents question the proper upbringing of their offspring.The main question, of course, always regards the use of punishment.The conversation is not about the belt and flogging, and the penalties in general - such as coal, deprivation of money or personal computer.
Read also penalize the child for disobedience - correct and incorrect methods of punishment of children in the family.
How does the punishment?
We are confident that we know what is best for our child.This view is retained for life.However, solving for the baby, we push its independence, turning the human mattress.It should also sure to listen to the wishes of the child!
example. Mom daughter dressed for a walk in the bright, beautiful dress, but she wanted to play in the sandbox.Mom prohibits - because dress is stained.But the clothes for my daughter is not important, it is important sand.The girl is still what a walk, the main thing - to have fun.Conclusion: The mother turned the walk into a torture for both.But in t
What is the punishment?
It - additional motivator , which limits the child in some action.But the baby should not be afraid of punishment, but a natural consequences of their actions.Punishing, we teach him to avoid violence, to lie, dodge.The natural consequences of the inevitable.It is better to concentrate on them.I do not put the toy - do not find your favorite soldier. Here it is, the punishment!
possible to do without punishment?
parent voluntarily chose this path, faces many difficulties .But it is necessary to understand that the lack of punishment - is not permissiveness.This method of education does not deprive a person of the rules and norms of behavior, and does not mean that if a toddler hit the neighbor in the sandbox, it is for the pat on the head.
Basic principles of parenting without punishment
- patience. Parents ventured into education without punishment, choosing complex and shady path.It will be a lot of problems, but if all the conditions they grow up happy and self-sufficient man.
- Children should be loved not for the fact that they give us (a sense of confidence, pride and usefulness), and love just like that. Of course, it is easier to punish than to understand the causes of bad behavior.But this shows the selfishness of the parents.They do better for themselves, hurting their child - a little person.
- Accept your child for who he is , with all the problems, troubles and whims.He must feel that he is loved and appreciated.
- necessary to give their child a sufficient amount of attention .After all, its deficiency causes disobedience.
- Recognize the child's personality. From the early years, when the toddler is not yet able to speak, he had already chooses clothes and toys.He has his own feelings and suffering.You can not ignore them.After all, it destroys individuality.
- education by example. If forbid a child to lie - do not lie and do not embellish.Observe the whole family.The child's innate instinct to imitate adults acting on a subconscious level.Try it and you will see that this is so.
- The greater the pressure, the greater the resistance. If ever saw - Remove toys, do this, do that, do not take it, do not break, do not touch, you can create a tense atmosphere that the child will want to escape from it.What he is trying to do in moods, protests and hysterics.
- Penalties confirm that for every force there is an even greater force. kid will grow and your financial strength and credibility will be lost.Then comes the understanding that the punishment - it is a mistake of education, but it's too late.
- sequence - assistant in compliance with the rules .You said he did not give candy before dinner - do not give.If you can not today, but tomorrow may be, it is always possible.
- maintain proper behavior promotion. children quickly forget about the punishment that threatens mischief in the case, but remember the presents for the diligent behavior.
- parent must constantly evolve, learn , to maturing the baby does not put him in a deadlock complex issues.
- not be carried to the provocation - tantrums, reproaches, rudeness.Be indifferent to such emotional outbursts.
See also: How to raise a child manipulator - tips for parents.
known that children who grow up without discipline, less aggressive.After being rude - it was revenge for the pain. Penalties generate bitter resentment that suppresses everything, including common sense .
That is, the negative child nowhere to do, and it burns inside.Therefore, children often break on younger siblings and pets.
See also: What do parents of children during an argument - how to behave correctly?
What parents need to know about raising children without punishment - how to learn this art?
- stubbornness and whims - a way to express a child , when it lacks freedom.They often occur in times of crisis of life - 3 years of crisis, transition period.Every year, add a child freedom and personal space, not duties.After all, freedom - a decision-making.
- Allow natural consequences - the true punishment.
- To experience together a way out of problems. example, a child picked up without asking someone else's thing.It is necessary to clarify that the owner of things upset if he finds it in place.After she told him so dear.It is necessary to return it to the owner!
- adult should set the interest of the child to the desired behavior , rather than dwell on the unwanted actions.Ieparent does not warn if you touch a flower risers.And he says, sit, play with a doll, until I come.
- And how to be with young children?They do not understand the wrongness of their actions, and to explain to them is almost impossible.Then you need to physically remove the baby of insecurity and with zdat for him a safe environment. If climbs to a domestic dog, it is necessary to carry out the crumbs in another court and divert toy.
- lot to talk with the child. explain what is good and what is bad.Simulate the situation on the dolls and solve problems in the game.
- not impose restrictions on the necessary action. child can not sit still in a chair for 40 minutes in a queue.Babies useful to run, play, jump and sports.Then, they and the children, and a desire to have a child friendly - a requirement of parental selfishness.
Education without punishment does not lead to selfishness.For selfish - it nedolyublennosti children who as adults are trying to catch up.
Education without punishment - large and hard work .Mainly, it is working on a - in fact, no matter what we do, children will be like us.
And how do you feel about the punishment of children?Is it possible to raise without punishment?Share your experiences in the comments below!