When children quarrel, many parents do not know what to do, indifferent to step aside, so that children understand the conflict on their own, or to get involved in their dispute, to find out what was the matter and make its verdict?
See also: Tricks child manipulator - how to bring him up and what you can not do?
content of the article:
- most common causes of quarrels between children
- As it is impossible to behave when quarrels parents of children
- Tips for parents as children to reconcile
most common causes of quarrels between the children - so whychildren quarrel and fight?
main causes of quarrels between children are:
- struggle for the possession of things (toys, clothes, cosmetics, electronics).You've probably often heard the child screaming the other, "Do not touch it, it's mine!".Each child should be exactly his thing.Some parents want to, for example, toys were common.But so, in relations between children becomes even more problems - so say the psychologists.The child will appreciate, protect only their own toys, and general - do not represent value for him, therefore, not to give them a brother or sister, he can just break a toy.In this case, you need to provide your child's personal space: lockable cabinets, drawers, cupboards, where the kid can put their valuables and not worry about their safety.
- division of responsibilities. If one child were asked to take out the garbage or walk the dog, wash the dishes, then immediately heard the question, "Why me and not he / she?" Therefore it is necessary to give every child a burden, and if they do not like your job -Let swap
- unequal relations of parents to children. If one child is allowed more than others, it is outrageous, and the second, of course, a fight with a brother or sister. For example, if one gives more pocket money, allowed longer walk in the street, or playing games on the computer - it is an occasion for a quarrel. To avoid conflicts, it is necessary to explain to the children what motivated your decision to do so and not otherwise.Tell the difference in age and the consequent responsibilities and privileges.
- comparison. In this case, the parents themselves are a source of conflict.When parents make comparisons between children, they make children compete."Look how obedient you have a sister, and you ..." or "What are you slow, look at brother ...» parents think that way a child will learn from the best qualities of the other, but this does not happen.The child perceives the information is not, as adults, and such comments had a thought: "If the parents say so, then I - poor child, my brother or sister - a good."
As it is impossible to behave when quarrels parents of children - common mistakes to avoid
children Quarrels often arise because of improper behavior of parents.
If we quarrel children, the parents can not:
- Yelling at children. is necessary to be patient and try to keep their emotions.Creek - is not an option.
- Search blame in this situation, becauseeach child feels right;
- Do not take someone - either side in the conflict. It can be divided in their view of children on the "pet" and "unloved".
Tips for parents as children to reconcile - the correct behavior of parents in the quarrels between children
If you see that the children solve the dispute themselves, compromise and continue to play on, parents should not interfere.
But if a quarrel turns into a fight, there is resentment and anger, parents have a duty to intervene.
- Solving Children's conflict, it is not necessary to engage in parallel any more - any job. aside the works that will be examined later in the conflict , bring the situation to the reconciliation.
- Listen carefully to the vision of the situation of each conflicting party. When a child says, do not interrupt him and not let this second child.Find the cause of the conflict: what exactly was the reason for the fight.
- Together looking a compromise solution to the conflict.
- Analyze their behavior. According to Ed Le Shan, an American psychologist, that the quarrel between the children produce their own parents.
Has your family life like situation?And as you come out of them?Share your stories in the comments below!