love (as in the song) descends suddenly ... And, of course, at the very moment when you are not looking.The effect of surprise is amplified by the fact that love is not suddenly descended on to someone there hypothetical, as your own child.Just came immediately to the heart of a child and leave you at a loss with the only issue - and how to behave then?
See also: How and when to tell your child about sex?
Home, dear parents - do not panic.And do not break firewood - child's feelings is more important your opinion about the object of his love. So, what to do and what not to do when your child fell for ...
- Love can be caught off guard a child anywhere - in a sandbox, at school, in the kindergarten, at sea and so on. Well,you yourself may remember.Changes in a child of any parent will notice immediately - eyes shine, look mysterious, enigmatic smile, the rest - on the environment.By his experiences and excitement child at any age very seriously - even in 15 years, at least in 5. First Love - it's always a unique phenomenon.The baby is very fragile and vulnerable at this time, so no harsh criticism - "it is you are not a couple," "us and Dad do not like it", "it will pass" and so forth. Be considerate and careful!
- From the development of the situation depends private life of the child in the future, the ratio of the opposite sex and to the union of hearts at all. Gather patience. Your task now - to be a "buffer", a pillow, a vest and anyone, as long as the child has the ability to easily share with your experiences, to feel your support, do not be afraid of your irony and podkolok.Even if you do not like the choice of a child, does not show his rejection.It is possible that this is your future daughter-in-law, or (and this happens).If the relationship will be interrupted in love, stay loyal friend to the child.
- Remember, for a child, since 6-7 years, love can become quite strong and long emotional attachment.Despite the fact that teenage love differs from the love child of 6-8 years, the strength of feeling is very strong at both.In adolescents, added to the sense of physical attraction and even that, of course, lead parents to panic - "would not be too soon grandparents." Be alert, be there, talking with the child emotionally, quietly explaining - what is good and bad. but does not forbid, do not push, do not dictate - be different.Even if you find my son (daughter) in a table (bag) "rubber product", do not panic.First and foremost, this means that your child is a responsible approach to the issue of proximity, and has the second - that your child (unbeknownst to you) matured.
- Toddlers 6-8 years there is no one "adult" persistence on the object of love, they do not know - how to get attention, how to respond to a compliment, and this confusion greatly complicates the life of a child.No need to push the child sweetly to the relationship - "bold, son, be a man," but if you feel that your child needs help, find tactful speech and the right advice - how to win the attention of girls, which can not be done, as the answertokens and so on. Many of the boys are ready to love heroic deeds, but parents do not teach them (for example, Council) - how to behave.In the end, the lover boy pulls darling pigtails, hides her backpack in the school toilet or provoke pronounced.Teach your child to be a real man a child.Around the same story with the girls.Usually they are beating up on the tops of cupboards choices, militant worn them at recess, or hide in the toilet after surprising confessions.Teach girls to take advantage (or not take) courtship.
- If there was a question in front of you love your child, you not think first about their feelings and attitudes to this phenomenon, and on the status of the child .Most often, the child (primary school age) First love - this confusion, shyness and fear, do not understand and rejected.Overcoming barriers between children generally occurs through the gaming context of dialogue - children get the opportunity (joint trip, circle, section, etc..) And the barrier will disappear, and the child will feel more confident.
- Teenagers gaming context of communication to anything - other games out there already, and problems at the points of contact, usually not.But there is such passions that mothers have every evening to drink valerian (a grown child, and it is difficult to accept this fact), and then, in most cases, to reassure and convince that life does not end at the parting.The feelings of a teenager - not less vulnerable.Be tactful.Reacting to the revelations son or daughter need not from the position of his experiences and experiences from the perspective of the child.
- child you trust, spoke of his love.What is your reaction will be incorrect?"Yes, what kind of love at your age!" - A mistake. Treat recognition serious to justify the confidence of the child (you really need it when a child falls in love already an adult)."Yes, you have a thousand of Len will be!" - A mistake.You do not want your child to any personal relationship subsequently perceived superficially, as a temporary and insignificant process?But to explain the feelings tested by time, it can not hurt."Yeah, do not tell my slippers ..." - error.Jokes, derision, nasmehatelstvom the senses of the child you humiliate your own child.Tune in on the same wavelength with the child.In the end, remember yourself.With your support, your child will be easier to go through this stage of maturation.If your sense of humor runs in front of you - use it sensibly.For example, tell your child some funny story from your own (or someone else's) experience, to reassure him, Son, and add confidence.
- Strongly recommended share "great news" with family and friends - they say, "and we fell in love with something!".The child entrusted to you its secret.Your duty - to save it.
- Should I get involved in a relationship and use their parents 'arms' to stop them? As for the position "over my dead body!" - She obviously wrong.The child your way, your views may not coincide - the sooner you understand this, the higher the threshold of confidence to you baby.Exception: when the child is likely to endanger any danger.
- Should I participate in the development of relations? Again, to get into other people's relationships is not recommended. Help may be needed only in a few cases, when a child wants to take the initiative, but does not know - how.When a child needs money to arrange a surprise (to buy a gift) beloved.When the child was a manipulated - for example, require "stuff face" offender.In this case, carefully chosen one to speak with the child and with him, to find out the problem and give the parent the right advice.Or when a child is terrorizing the object of sympathy or competitors (the child needs to explain that there are adequate and effective ways to express feelings).
- Do not put the teenager in the uncomfortable position of their excessive control. not have to sit with binoculars near the window, where children walk together to call every 5 minutes or constantly look to the room with the "cookies and tea."Trust your child.But beware.As for the young lovers - they also feel constrained by the parent "eye."So just pretend that go about their business or communicate with people.
first love - not a whim.This strong sense of a new stage of growing your child.Help your child in the process of becoming a person, you are laying the foundation that will be used in a child further relations with the opposite sex.
Share with a child of his feelings and his joy , and always be ready to help, support and comfort.
Has your life similar situation?How do you respond to the love of your child?Share your stories in the comments below!