At all times, raising a child without a father was a daunting task.And if the mother raises her son alone - it is doubly difficult.Of course, I want to become a real man pipsqueak.
But how to do it, if you - my mother?What mistakes should not be allowed? What you need to remember?
prime example for his son - it is always the father.It was he, own behavior , the boy shows that women can not hurt that the weak need to be protected, that the man - a miner and the breadwinner in the family, that the courage and willpower needed to cultivate a diaper.
My father's example - this is a pattern of behavior, which copies the child.And the son, growing only from the mother, deprived of this example.
What problems may encounter a boy without a father and mother?
should first consider the attitude of the mother to her son, her role in education, because of the harmony of the future of education depends on the character of a son.
mother raising a boy without a father, maybe ...
- Disturbingly active
constant concern for the child, the stress, the inconsistency of penalties / incentives.The atmosphere for the son to be troubled.
As a consequence - anxiety, tearfulness, moodiness, and so on. Of course, for the benefit of the child's mind will not do.
Template "slogans" of mothers - "My child!", "I gave birth to myself," "I'll give him what I had."This setting leads to the absorption of the child's identity.Independent life, he may simply not see because my mother herself to feed him, clothe, choose friends, girl and university, ignoring the child's own wishes.This mother did not avoid disappointment - the child in any case it does not justify the hopes and break out from under the wing.Either she did ruin his psyche, raise a son who is unable to live independently and to be responsible for anyone.
- overbearing authoritarian
mother, who firmly believes in his innocence and his actions solely for the good of the child.Every whim kid - a "mutiny on the ship," which harshly suppressed.Sleep is the kid will be when my mother would say, no matter what.Crying scared child left alone in the room, for a mother not a reason - to rush to him with kisses.Authoritarian mother creates an atmosphere close to the barracks.
consequences?The kid grows closed, emotionally repressed, with the dimensionless luggage aggression, which in adult life can easily be transformed into misogyny.
This mom always tired and depressed.Smiling rare, a child is not enough power, communication with him and my mother avoids perceives education of the children of how hard labor and burden, which had to take on.Devoid of warmth and love child grows closed, delayed mental development, a sense of love for his mother formed just not on anything.
not a happy prospect.
What portrait of her?Probably everyone knows the answer: it is cheerful, attentive and caring mother, who does not press on the child with his authority, not throws him their problems failed personal life, perceived for what it is.It minimizes the requirements and prohibitions of punishment, because the respect, trust, encouragement - is more important.The basis of education - to recognize the independence and individuality of the baby from the cradle.
father's role in the upbringing of the boy and the problems arising in the life of a boy without a father
addition to relationships, parenting, and the atmosphere in the single-parent family, the boy faces other challenges:
- mathematical ability of men is always higherthan women. They are more inclined to reflection and analysis, to the unfolding of the shelves, to the design and so on. They are less emotional, and mental work is not aimed at people and things.The absence of the pope greatly affects the development of these skills at the son.And "mathematical" the problem is not with the material difficulties and the atmosphere "fatherless" and a lack of intellectual atmosphere, which normally creates a man in the family.
- desire for learning, education, the formation of interest also absent or reduced these children.Business activity dad usually spurs baby, aiming to succeed him, on an appropriately successful man.If the Pope is not - to take an example not from anyone.This does not mean that the child is doomed to grow weak, cowardly, inactive.With the right approach, there is every mother's chances to grow a decent man.
- Violation of sexual identity - is another problem. Of course, it's not about that, instead of a son bride necessarily bring home the bride.But patterns of behavior "man + woman" child is watching.As a consequence, do not form the right skills behavior, lost his "I", there are disturbances in the natural system of values and relationships with the opposite sex.The crisis of sexual identity occurs in a child 3-5 years, and in adolescence.The main thing - do not miss this moment.
- father - a kind of bridge for the child to the outside world. Mom more inclined the most narrow world itself available daze, social circle, hands-on experience.Father wipes for the baby that framework - as instituted by nature.Father lets releases, provokes not lisp, he does not try to adjust to the child's psyche, and perception of speech - to communicate on an equal footing, thereby paving the way for the son of independence and maturity.
- educates only a mother, the baby often "go to extremes», developing a female or character traits or differing excess of "masculinity".
- One of the problems of boys from single-parent families - lack of understanding of his father's duties. And as a consequence - a negative impact on personal maturation have their children.
- mother appeared at the man found a baby in arms. Because the family for him - it's just mom.A strange man next to her does not fit into the usual pattern.
There are mothers who start to "sculpt" the sons of these men do not care about their own opinion.In the course are all the tools - languages, dance, music and so forth. The result is always the same - a nervous breakdown in the child and her mother's unfulfilled hopes ...
must be remembered - even if the mother of the baby perfect, is the best in the world,absence of the father still affects the child who always will feel deprived of paternal love .To educate a boy without a father a real man, mother should make every effort to proper formation of the future role of men , and rely on male support in the upbringing of her son among loved ones.