term "return match" can be attributed to the re-marriage, the only difference is that the union is not repeated with the new person, and a former partner.That is, there is a restoration once broken home.
See also: What words and deeds can not forgive even the beloved?
What are the pros and cons of a return of marriage? Can I enter twice "into the same river," not destroy the relationship permanently?And how to save the relationship from the old mistakes?
content of the article:
- Leaving you marry her ex-husband?
- All the pros and cons of marriage return
- How to avoid old mistakes?
How to make the right decision - whether to go marry her ex-husband?
As a rule, the idea of "A can - try again?" Arises only if, if the gap with her husband was not accompanied by serious enmity , division of property and other "joys" of divorce.New Cavaliers do not inspire confidence, attitude persist with anyone not add up, children are not willing to share his mother with an unknown uncle, and th
These thoughts occur in half of divorced women who have preserved more or less normal relations with their husbands.So whether still tread on the familiar "rake», or better avoid them for a kilometer, and then remove the barn, out of sight?
that rely on making a decision?
First of all, to the tune of his desire ...
- force of habit? lived with spouse 2-3 years (not to mention a long life together), a woman accustomed to a certain way of life, shared with her husband habits, his manner of communication and so on. The force of habit is pushing many into "time-tested" embrace, often- despite the problems frayed wings.
- If the wording of the reasons for the divorce sounded the traditional way - «do not get along» - why did you decide that now so sure of your characters will come together?If you are absolutely different people, and divide by two the troubles and joys are not able, it is unlikely you will it again.If you a fan of pathological purity shudder from scattered socks, crumbs in bed and caps on toothpaste on the sink, then if you have enough power to ignore these "terrible sins" of her husband remarried?
- If you realize that your spouse - an incorrigible philanderer , and the whole universe of love to you, he will continue to list of amorous conquests, while age does not deprive him irresistible, then think about it - if you can walk this path with him?And stay wise wife turned a blind eye to the "small affair" of her husband.Can, if the first time could not?
- « I realized that better than you do - no one in the whole world! live without you I can not.Forgive and accept the prodigal husband, "he said, falling to his knees in front of your door with a bouquet of roses and another ring in a beautiful box.Experience shows that half of these marriages return really gives rise to new relationships strong.Especially if your relationship built on deep feelings, and were destroyed by the intervention of a third party (the other woman, his mother, and so on.).
So how can that be?
To begin with - to shake off the romantic flair and include mode "a sober look at the situation» .
clear that he and a bunch of anguish in his eyes - very nice.And his desire to return to you - so flattering.And because he is a native smells that even now jump into his arms.Even I want to pour him tea, soup to feed and, if well behaved, leave overnight.And then there's the children came running - are, rejoice, saying, "folder back» ...
But if I can forget everything? simple?Build a relationship again, without repeating past mistakes?And whether it is the love alive?Or you pull out of habit?Or because they live a single mother it is very difficult?Or because they simply got tired without a man in the house?
See also: How to understand that love has passed and the relationship ended?
If the heart out of his chest jumps, and you will feel the same emotions in response to her husband - then of course, there is nothing to even contemplate.And if you struggle with feelings of resentment memories of his betrayal, is there any sense in the long term the new divorce?
All the pros and cons of marriage return
return advantages of marriage:
- You know each other, all the habits, weaknesses and advantages, needs, and so forth.
- You can really appreciate the perspectives of your relationshipweighing every step and realizing that it will be followed.
- you are able to find each other approach.
- Your children will be happy to reunite their parents.
- effect of "novelty" in relations refreshes life together in all senses - you start with all white sheet.
- candy buketny period and give the wedding deeper emotions, and the choice - more intelligent and sober.
- You do not need to get acquainted with each other's families - all of them you already know.
- Understanding the problems that led to the collapse of her first marriage, will help to strengthen the re-union - Avoid Mistakes easier if "know the enemy in the face."
Disadvantages return of marriage:
- If since the break was a long time, your partner might have time to change significantly.You do not know - how and what he lived all this time.It is quite possible that one as he became, you alienate even faster than in the first marriage.
- woman, under certain circumstances, tend to idealize a partner.If she is lonely and difficult, children maddening disobedience at night wants to roar into the pillow out of despair, and then there he was practically a native, with fiery eyes and the promise of "together again and have to the grave", the sobriety of thought is dissolved in a lightweightexhale "finally all calm down."The idealized partner, a week later, a month, suddenly forgets his promises, and begins the "second circle of hell."The absence of a cold and sober look at the situation in the decision is fraught with a minimum of new disappointment.
- Mental wounds received at the first divorce, do not pass unnoticed.Can you step over them and live, even mentally without thinking of the pain that you have caused?If not - then this problem will always stand between you.
- Remarriage does not solve the problems of your past itself.You have to really work hard to correct past mistakes and, of course, prevent new ones.
- If you diverged due to his mother (or another relative), remember - my mother has not disappeared.She still you can not stand, and your husband is still for her beloved son.
- him forever scattered socks, for which you abused him every night, do not start jumping into the washing machine - you have to come to terms with his habits and adopt it in its entirety with all minus / plus.Re-grown man is useless, even in the first marriage.And during the second - and more.
- If he was a "miser" and liked to have a bottle or two for lunch, do not expect that he became a teetotaler generous.
- In the time that has passed since the divorce, the two of you used to live by the rules - to independently solve problems, make decisions and so on. He used to walk around the apartment in the morning in the family shorts and smoke on an empty stomach, you - a holiday with her friends in the eveningand do not ask anybody for anything and resolution.That is, you will either have to change their habits or to adapt to each other, taking into account all the nuances.
- grind together again will be difficult, given the big old "suitcase" grievances and complaints from each side.
going to marry her ex-husband - how to build a new happiness and avoid old mistakes?
remarriage strength will depend on the sincerity everyone, from a clear understanding of the issues and the strength of the desire - to be together despite everything.To avoid mistakes and build a really strong relationship, remember the main:
- first and key - motif reunion. Understand yourself and the reasons for that are really crucial for you when making a decision.Alone at night, not enough money, there is no one to repair the crane and nail shelves - these are the reasons which form the basis of another way to nowhere.
- Remember, you have only one chance - to start life anew .If you're willing to forget and forgive, if you're willing to build relations with the error - go for it.If in doubt - do not dive into the pool with his head, first examined in itself.
- start from scratch , crossed out all the insults and immediately find out all the contentious issues between them.
- Before marry again, give each other time, "Candy period."Already there are a lot clearer for you.
- If during the "candy" period, you feel that your half back to what was the reason for the divorce, consider it a signal for termination of the relationship.
- deciding - remember that your children will doubly difficult to survive your second divorce .If there is no confidence in the reliability and stability of the relationship, not start them and do not let the children empty hope.Let him become a single action, not "swing" in which your children will finally lose faith in you, and family unity, as well as their psychological balance.
- Want to grievances and problems in the past? Both work on yourself.Forget about mutual reproaches, do not remind each other about the past, not sypte salt on old wounds - build a new life, brick by brick, on mutual trust, respect and love.See also: How to learn to forgive offenses?
- Do not attempt to return the relationships that they form in which they were at the beginning of his first marriage .Never has the relationship will not be the same, meaningless illusions.Changes in the relationship and affect the psychological aspects and habits, and intimate relationships.Give each other time.If you wish to get married again, will not be gone for 3-4 months a romantic relationship - means a chance for a strong future together really is.
- Learn to listen and hear each other , as well as to solve the problem through "peaceful negotiations".
- forgive each other .Forgiving - great science.Not everyone is able to master it, but only the ability to forgive "chops off unwanted tails" that extend for the life of us, and save us from error.
What do you think about the return status - whether to start all over again?It is very important to know your opinion!