Regardless of the cause of separation of parents, future events usually develop one scenario - raising a child alone, the complexity of the new status.Sooner or later, on the way there is a man lonely mother.He is ready to become a fortress, broad shoulders and a loving caring stepfather.But my mother worries - whether it be a friend to her child, whether aware of the responsibility that wants to take over?
See also: single mom raise her son a real man?
How to make friends their crumbs, and the new pope - what experts recommend?
- when a friend with a new baby daddy?
most important thing in this situation - remember to introduce your child to the new pope possible only in the exceptional case, if the mother firmly believes in the chosen one in the future of their relationship.
Otherwise, the frequent change of the "new dads" lead to serious psychological injury to a child, the loss of its understanding of the family model and to more serious consequences.If you are sure that this man - your future husband, do not put your baby to the fact - that, they say, it's Uncle Sasha, your new daddy will live with us, humble yourself, and honor him as a father.Give your child time to know better your vote.
- How to start dating a child with a new pope?
Start with a neutral territory - just give her future husband home is not worth it.Meetings should be unobtrusive - in a cafe in the park or the cinema.It is important that the baby remained after meetings only the most positive impression.A child at a younger age is not difficult to charm, the main thing - to be sincere.
Of course, it's not about buying all the toys in the children's stores, and the attention to the child.Kid himself will meet the new man in their life with his mother, if he feels it confidence, respect for the mother and a sincere desire - to be part of the family.Once the crumb gets used to the presence of a new person in the family area, and it will begin to be proactive, "Mom, Uncle Sasha will go with us to the circus?" - Could be invited to visit the new pope.Not with a suitcase, of course - and, for example, for dinner.
- admits a new pope in the kid's life gradually
tell him about all the habits of the child, about his character, about what is categorically rejects the child, which is afraid of and what loves most.It is clear that the child himself will draw conclusions - whether this "daddy" to make friends with him, or an urgent need to rescue him from his mother (the child feels people are much better than the new winged love mom).But do not stand on the sidelines.In your best interest - to help her man and their child to understand and accept each other.Let the toys, which gives "Uncle Sasha," will not be the standard teddy bear and kinder-surprise, and those things, which the baby has long dreamed.A child who is already a month asks you to take him to a water park?Let "Uncle Sasha" for dinner by chance offer him a trip to the water park at the weekend - a long time, they say, wanted to go, you do not want me?See also: 10 best games for father and baby up to 3 years.
- not impose a daze chat with the future new Pope
If the child resists - do not push, do not rush things.Kid should see and understand - how dear to you this man, how happy you are after a meeting with him as rejoice when your man and your child will find a common language.
Tell (gently) to the child about what "Uncle Sasha" brave and kind, about which he had an interesting job, and so forth. It is strictly not force my child to name his chosen pope.Even if your man is moved to you with his toothbrush.This should occur naturally.And by the way, it may not happen at all.But that does not matter.There are many families where the child insists on calling her stepfather by name (or the name), but at the same time to honor and respect him as a father.
- Do not forbid your child from seeing his own father
If only for this reason there is no real (threat to life and so forth.).So you have just set up a child against herself and her man.Two pope - it is always better than none.A child once tell you thank you for it.
- gradually leave your child with a new pope
Under the pretext - "urgent need to run to the store," "oh, milk runs," "I just quickly take a bath," and so forth. In private they are much faster than find a common language -the baby will have to trust your chosen one, and your choice - to find common ground with the baby.
- Do not allow yourself (or at least, at first) meeting and travel with her man without a child
It will not benefit any relationship stepfather and baby, or your own.Remember, if a man sees that the confidence of the child and his composure you cherish most of all, he will look for ways to gain your trust.And it will be more responsible attitude to his new role of your husband and the father of another child.
In case the mother does not show concern about finding contact between the stepfather and the baby, and this man will not feel the anxiety.
- child should not feel betrayed and abandoned
Whatever you want to rush into the arms of loved - do not do it at the child.No kissing and flirting in the presence of the baby, no, "Son, go and play in their room," and so forth. Let your child feel that in his world everything is stable.What has not changed.And that mom still loves him more than anyone.What "Uncle Sasha" will not take his mother.If a pipsqueak aggressive for the new Pope, do not rush to criticize it and to demand an apology - a child takes time.First, own father left, and now some strange uncle tries to divert his mother - of course, the child is psychologically difficult.Give your child an opportunity to understand the situation and accept that Uncle Sasha with his habit of making noise with a razor, sitting on my father's place and hold the TV remote control.It is difficult, but a smart woman always gently direct, prompt and podstelet straw.
And some more advice from child psychologists: be honest with the child, do not change family traditions - continue to go to the movies on Saturdays and drink with a milkshake and cookies before bed (just do it together with the new Pope), do not try to "buy" baby toys (better fishing or rides with the new pope, than another device or a gadget), elect not to make remarks in the presence of a child , do not forget to be interested in the thoughts and feelings of both, and remember - the new Pope too hard.
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