If you are just a few minutes a day, we'll show you how to make your marriage last forever.I'm not kidding!If you are worried about your marriage (even if you do not worry), these simple tips will help you strengthen the marriage bond.
See also: 10 simple but very important rules of wise women - so how to become a wise wife?
content of the article:
- Why is it so important to understanding the family?
- Ongoing work on relations
- The principle of exercise "obnimashki»
- result of this exercise
- Related Videos
You do not have the feeling that you are moving away from each other?Couples are quite active life that, sometimes, they just is not the time to be together for real.Even when they go out on dates, go to the movies, meet friends, it does not give them the opportunity again and again to get to know each other, fall in love with each other.Time for each other extends to the last paragraph of urgent matters to deal with, which, as we know, are endless.However, without th
relationship requires constant work on them
But if you apply a few minutes a day to it, then they do not seem such a chore.The following exercise will help to reconnect paired with even the most complex graphics.It takes only 2 minutes a day, so it can fit any schedule.And if you think in the future, it is quite effective (the divorce takes much more effort and time)! Exercise called "obnimashki» .
Consider this example: Olga and Michael - a couple with 20 years of marriage.They have two adult sons.Both work, have their own hobbies and interests are quite successful in their professional fields.They meet with friends, go on family holidays as well as go on a family vacation.You may ask: "And what's the problem here?".It's simple.Olga says that when she and her husband are still together (alone), they talk about work, children and politics, but do not talk about personal things.
From the side it seems that Olga and Michael a happy marriage.But in fact, Olga complains that he and Michael are developing at a distance, as if in parallel.They do not talk about their fears, emotions, desires, dreams for the future, about their love and affection.Meanwhile, their offense is left unresolved conflicts in the heart, unexpressed anger grows.Without love there is no talk of balance for negative experiences, they simply will not utter, and accumulates, and in the meantime the marriage is crumbling before our eyes.
How does exercise "obnimashki"?
This exercise has solved the problem of the pair, and its meaning is that it creates the necessary space to express their emotions without affecting the emotions of the partner.
- Take pose. Sit on the couch or on the bed (the floor) so that your faces are directed to one side, while someone else is behind you (looking at the back of the head).The idea is that as long as one says, the other hugs him back and listens.So far, says one partner, the other does not have to answer!
- Share your thoughts and feelings .As one partner does not see the face of another, and there is no exchange of "courtesies", the first partner (who says) can express everything that had accumulated in his soul.And it is not necessarily something negative.You can say anything you want: that happened at work;about childhood dreams and memories;that the wounded partner in the act.At first, this might just be quiet together.You can just sit in silence, feeling the embrace of a partner, his presence support.You can use your 2 minutes as you wish.Do you have a "captive" audience that can not answer you and always listen.
- no discussion. Once one partner reprimand, there should be no discussion of the situation (he heard).The next day you will change places.The main rule, which in any case can not be broken - not discuss heard under any circumstances.Even if one of you says said unfair or false.You must also be swapped at least once a week, ideally each of you must change 2-3 times.And, of course, remember to 2 minutes.
- This is not a prelude! And remember that by performing this exercise, you are trying to recover is primarily a spiritual bond between you.Therefore, do not take this exercise as a prelude to lovemaking.As much as it was not your wish, bring the love for another time.
How it worked for Olga and Michael?
A week later, a couple came to the reception to a family psychologist and shared his impressions of the work they exercise.Michael said: "It was very difficult to start, I have little faith in the fact that this is something out.But we drew lots and I got a chance to talk to first.I really grasped the situation.I told Ole that makes me angry that when I come home from work, she is busy preparing dinner, children, work, telephone conversations and other things.She can not even greet me properly.And I was surprised and pleased at the same time that it does not protect, as usual, and listened to the end.But still this silence brought me back to my childhood.I remembered how I'd come home from school and my mother was not there and I had no one to share. "Then Michael added: "The next time I tell her how I feel nice to her embrace, as we recently did not.It turns out, just sit back, arm in arm, can be very nice. "
Michael talks about the changes in their personal lives, "Now, when I come home from work, the first thing I hear a friendly" Good evening, my dear! "From my wife, even if she is busy with something at the same time.And best of all, she began to embrace me without a cause.How wonderful to know that you can get something without paying before that. "
In turn, Olga, smiling, talking about their feelings: "What he asked was not such a huge step for me.It's funny, because I'm not so gives him a greeting that does not strain it.Once again I tried not to take his time on yourself, and sometimes simply afraid of his reaction.Despite the fact that he said, I and before that a lot of thought as to pet him and cheer, but did not dare to do anything.So I had liked this exercise, I finally found out what he wants is my favorite. "On their turn to exercise Olga says: "When it was my turn to speak, I was so excited, because I knew that I could say all that was holding in his heart, while I listen and not slaughtered."
Now Michael and Olga looking at each other with a gentle smile: "We both like to be, and those who embrace and those who embrace.And we would like to do "obnimashki" of our family tradition. "
That's how this exercise has changed the relationships within the family of Olga and Michael.Perhaps it will seem frivolous, invalid, silly.But you never know until you try.After all, just destroy the old and build the new easy.Do not you want to save your relationship and get to another level, because of the fact that the couple do not speak and do not hear each other breaks a lot of strong unions.And it is worth just to talk heart to heart.
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