We always easier to resolve anything to the child than to find a way to correct the ban.Why is that?One does not want to put pressure on the kid with his authority, the other upholds the principles of "freedom of the child in all!", The third does not want to become a tyrant, a fourth just too lazy to deny and explain.
and whether any child bans?
content of the article:
- 14 things that you can not deny the child
- 11 things that are always necessary to prohibit the right to prohibit
14 things that you can not deny the child - consider alternatives
course, certain limits and boundaries child needs.But the constant "no", which is child hears from us, tired, nervous and always busy - is the formation of complexes and stiffness, the emergence of fear and guilt, lack of new knowledge and so forth.
That is, the restrictions must be correct!
Why can not categorically deny the child?
- eat independently. course, much easier to quickly feed the porridge spoon daze, saving yourself time and along with washing powder for "killed" T-shirts and blouses.But in doing so we deprive a child the first step towards independence - in fact bring the spoon to his mouth without dropping its contents, is the process responsible and requires maximum perseverance.And when the time comes to kindergarten, you do not have to follow the "evil vospitalkoy" which pushes a dinner in your sad sack, baby.Because he already will eat itself!As a young hero.Take the time to the first adult steps of the kid - it will simplify your process of education in the coming years.
- Helping Mom and Dad. «Do not touch Done!" Or "You can not!Spill! "- Shouting mother and later girlfriend complains that the child does not want absolutely nothing to do.Do not deprive the child of opportunities to help you.By helping you, it feels like an adult and fit.It's okay if after cleaning a child you will have 2 times longer to wash the kitchen - but he helped my mother.Highlight for crumbs Children's cleaning kit - let matures.He wants to carry the dishes in the sink - give one that is not a pity to break.He wants to help you with bags - give him a package with a loaf of bread.Do not deny your child - all good habits should be taught with "youthful nails."
- draw paints. does not take the opportunity to express the crumbs.Paints, develop creativity, fine motor skills, imagination, relieve stress, calm the nervous system, increases self-esteem and so on. Buy baby non-toxic paint, put on it an old t-shirt (or apron), the bed on the floor (on a large table) oilcloth and let the kid express themselves"on all cylinders."He wants to draw on the walls?Attach the top of the wallpaper couple of big sheets of drawing paper - let them draw.You can even take a whole wall of these pranks that were, where carousing.
- undress in the house. Kids tend to drop off the extra clothes, running barefoot or even naked.It is quite natural desire.Do not rush to shout "get dressed immediately!" (Of course, if you do not have bare concrete floor).At normal room temperature the kid can quite easily spend 15-20 minutes barefoot (it's even helpful).
- express their emotions. That is, jumping / running around, screaming and having fun, shouting and so on. In short, to be a child.It is clear that in the clinic or at a party must abide by the rules of decency, but let your child stay at home themselves.For him, it is a way to throw out energy, relieve stress, relax.As the saying goes, "do not disturb accordion player, he plays as best he can."
- Climb the street on the horizontal bar or a sports complex. No need to pull the baby by the arm and shouting "do not climb dangerous" carry off his sandbox.Yes, it is dangerous.But that is what parents need to explain the safety rules, show how to descend / climb, hedge down to crumb fell.Better learn your child directly control your body (in your presence), than then it is without you (without experience) climb on the horizontal bar.
- playing with water. course, baby suit flood.And Wet from head to toe.But how much happiness will be in the eyes, and what emotional release for him!Do not deprive the crumbs of such pleasure.Scroll to a zone, within which you can splash around the heart, splash, and so on. Give different capacity (watering cans, pots, spoons, plastic cups).
- splashed through the puddles. Puddle - a true source of happiness.Moreover, for all children, without exception, and even some adults.Buy crumbs bright boots and release in the "free floating".Positive emotions - pledge of mental health.
- Touch breakable items. Every kid is different inquiring mind.He just be sure to touch, see, taste, and so on. Do not rush to take away from his hands presented to you a cup or a statuette.Just explain that this thing is very dear to you, and it should be handled carefully - for games it is not intended, but hold and consider very possible.If all the same thing broken - do not cry and do not frighten the baby.Say "Fortunately!" And together with the child gather pieces (let him hold the shovel while you sweep them).
- have an opinion. Mom - she certainly knows better what T-shirt suitable for these shorts as to place toys, and in what order to eat meals with a festive table.But your pipsqueak - this is a full-fledged personality.He has his own desires, thoughts and opinions.Listen to your child."I said so!" And "Because!" The child did not arguments.Reassure him that you are right, or have the courage to disagree with his opinion.
- Play with utensils. Again, all the dangerous and expensive hide higher and deeper, and the shovels, spoons, pots, containers - it's not just the dishes, and educational materials for toddler - let him play!If you do not feel sorry for cereals, even baby deprived of this pleasure is not necessary, it is so nice to pour from the pan into a saucepan pasta with beans and buckwheat.
- sleep with the light. kids, especially since 3-4 years, afraid to sleep in the dark.This is normal: the psychological "separation" from his mother often accompanied by nightmares.Do not overdo it by teaching the child to sleep in a separate bed or room.If a pipsqueak afraid of the dark - Install a night light.
- not eat up. not try to baby cereals and soups, which he does not want.Lunch should not be torture and pleasure.Only in this case he would benefit.And that appetite was higher crumbs, arrange it less snacking between meals, and strictly observe the diet.
- fantasize. you like nobody, you know your child.Learn to distinguish between "fiction" (fantasy) on explicit and intentional lies.Fudge - it's a game, and a private universe of the baby.Lies - unacceptable phenomenon and a sign of mistrust of the child to you.
11 things you need to prohibit child anyway
At constant use by parents of the particle "no" or the word "impossible" is an accustoming the child to the prohibitions.Automatic.That is, over time, a reaction to the restrictions will be completely different - the child will simply cease to respond.
However, there are other extreme.For example, when the mother is so intimidating kid his "impossible" that the fear of a child do something wrong, it turns into a phobia.It is therefore reasonable to separate categorical prohibitions (absolute), time and depending on the circumstances.
If the second and third mother is determined based on the situation, the absolute prohibitions can be identified in a specific list.
So, absolutely can not ...
- beat the other and fight. Cruelty should be nipped in the bud, always explain to a child - why you can not.If a child is hyperactive and aggressive towards their peers - teaching him "let off steam" in a civilized way.For example, paint, pounding a punching bag, dance and so forth.
- offend our smaller brethren. Teach your kid to help the animals and care for them.Get a pet (even a hamster), dumped the child on a tour of the stables and meet with the horses, visit the animal shelter and feed crumbs personal example (the lesson of charity).
- To take other people's things. This axiom child must absorb more from the cradle.Assign someone else's toys, climb on things or parent nadkusyvat candy store - you can not.Scold do not need - you need to explain what end such acts (unvarnished, honest).If you do not help, ask someone of your friends to play the role of a police officer.
- not shake. not respond to the greeting and goodbye - impolite.With diapers teach crumbs greet, say "thank you and please," to apologize.Of course, the most effective method - a personal example.
- run away from his mother. One of the key "impossible".The kid has to understand that parents can not go anywhere before and absent himself (to the sandbox, for example, or to a nearby counter at the supermarket), you need to tell my mother about it.
- climb on window sills. Even if you are new windows and take all safety precautions.This prohibition is categorical.
- play on the roadway. This rule kid should know by heart.Ideal - to study it in pictures and secure beneficial effect of cartoons.But in this case the option "to walk, I keep an eye out the window" - irresponsible.By law, meanness ball from the playground always flies on the road and save the child may simply not enough.
- throwing things off the balcony. matter - it is toys, water balloons, rocks or nothing.All that creates a danger to surrounding people - is prohibited.Not to mention the fact that it is simply uncivilized.
- push in outlet fingers or objects. Just camouflage caps and little!Explain to your child why it is dangerous.
- violate morality. That is, to rush to other people with various objects, spitting, jumping in puddles, if someone comes near, swearing and so forth.
- Play with fire (matches, lighters, etc.).This theme is easy to reveal the baby - now a lot of useful material on the subject, designed specifically for children in the form of cartoons.
bans children - the rules for parents
to prohibit a child learned not met resistance, resentment and protest, should learn prohibitions set of rules:
- not select condemning tone for the ban , no shame and do not blame the child.The ban - is the border, and not a reason to blame the kid, he transgressed it.
- Always and explain in simple terms the reasons for the ban. You can not just ban.We need to explain - why not, what is dangerous, what might be the consequences.Without motivation ban does not apply.Formulate bans clearly - without long lectures and reading morals.And even better - through the game to better assimilate the material.
- demarcate, do not break their (especially when it comes to the absolute prohibitions).Yesterday and today can not prohibit the child to take her mother's things, and tomorrow to allow him to not get in the way, while you are chatting with a friend."NO" should be categorical.
- Restrictions should not be ubiquitous. absolute minimum of restrictions - this is enough.The rest look for compromises and be trickier.Do not "stop acting up, the people here, so it is impossible!" And "Synulya, go and a gift for dad - his birthday soon" (a toy for cats, blade pan and so on.).
- prohibitions should not run counter to the needs of the baby. can not forbid him jumping and fooling around, fantasizing, dig in the sand on the ears, splashed through the puddles, to build houses under the table, laughing loudly, and so on. Because he - a child, and such conditions for him - the norm.
- concerns about the safety of Chad, do not overdo it. better to best protect your baby move all the way to the apartment (plug, soft lining on the corners, tucked away on the top of the dangerous objects and so on.) Than every 5 minutes yelling "no".
- ban should come not only from you - from the whole family. If mom banned, shall not permit the pope.Harmonize their requirements among all family members.
- Most read crumbs smart and useful book .Look specifically designed to expand the horizons cartoons.Deficit in them today, no.Moralism from mum tire, but the plot of the movie (the book) as "Bob was playing with matches" will be remembered for a long time.
- Be an example to your baby. Why say that the shoe can not walk in the bedroom, if you are allowing yourself to drop (even "on tiptoe") in the boots of a purse or keys.
- Encourage your child to choose from. This not only saves you from having to push his authority, but kid's self-esteem.He does not want to wear pajamas?Suggest crumbs choice - green or yellow pajamas.He does not want to go swimming?Let it will choose toys that will take with him into the tub.
And remember: you - my mother, not a dictator .Before you say "no", think - and suddenly it is still possible?
And how do you feel about your child bans?Is it right and you forbid everything is impossible?