How to learn to deny a child the right - learning to say "no"

By Admin | Children
17 March 2016

At that time you are standing near the cash register in the store and the carcass under the eyes of other buyers, quietly explain to the child what to buy another toy or a sweet can not.Because it is expensive because it has no place to put, because you have forgotten the money home and so forth. Every mother - his list of excuses for this case.However, none of them has no effect.Tot still looks at you with wide, innocent eyes and folds her hands imploringly - "Well, buy it, Mom!".What to do?How to refuse a child?How to learn to say "no" so that the child understand?

content of the article:

  • Why children do not understand the word "no»
  • How to learn to deny a child the right to say "no" - guide for parents
  • How to teach your child to say "no" - teach children important artthe right to refuse

Why children do not understand the word "no" - to understand the reasons

learn to say "no" to the children - is a science.Because it is important to not only "say-cut" and keep his word, but also bri

ng to the kid - why not.To bring such a way that he knew, and my mother's refusal to accept without resentment.But not always it turns out. Why the child does not want to understand the word "no"?


  • child is too young and does not understand why this is a beautiful and brilliant "harmful" or mother "can not afford".
  • spoiled child.He was not taught that money gets parents to work, and not everyone desires tend to be executed.
  • child works to the public.If you shout loudly near the cash register and persistently "You do not love me!", "What are you - you want me to die of hunger?" Or "You never buy me anything!" The mother turns red and burning with shame, willforced to surrender.
  • child knows that mom infirm.And her "no" after the second or third attempt to become "Well, okay, not Noah."

In short, if the child is already in a more or less conscious age, his stubborn disregard for the word "no" - is the lack of education in different variations.

Read also: Causes of children's greed - what should parents do if the child is greedy

How to learn to deny a child the right to say "no" - guide for parents

tiny tot, certainly not in a position to compare their spending appetites with parental abilities, dangers and potential health risks.So with kids 2-3 years it is much easier - just do not take them with you to the store or take with you in advance bought toy (sweet), to divert child until you fill the food basket. What about older kids?


  • Talk with your child. constantly explain to him the dangers and benefits of a particular action of the product and so on. It is desirable examples, pictures on the "fingers".
  • You can not just say "no" or "no". child need motivation.If not, your "no" will not affect.The phrase "you can not touch iron" would be appropriate, if you explain that you can be badly burned.The phrase "you can not eat as much sweet" makes sense if you show / tell the child that is out of the abundance of sweets.Show pictures about tooth decay and other dental diseases, set the corresponding instructive cartoons.
  • Learn to switch the attention of the child. Once, a little grown up, he has to be understood that this machine can not be here, because it is half of my father's salary.What can not be here this sweet, because they now had four, and again to go to the dentist does not want.Etc.For now, just switch his attention.Ways - the sea.As soon as you notice that the baby's gaze falls on the chocolate (toy), and from the half-open rotika already pulled out, "I want!", Start talking about the zoo in which you are sure to go fast.Or about what a fantastic cow you are going to mold together.Or ask - what's so super delicious with your child, you will be ready to Dad's coming.Include imagination.Switch the child's attention in such a tender age - much easier than to say "no."
  • If you said "no", you should not say "yes". child must remember that your "no" is not discussed, and to prevail upon you to not work under any circumstances.


  • Never buy child sweets / toys that he has ceased to be capricious. vagaries suppress parental attention, the correct explanation, switching attention and so on. The mercy of a toy - so teach a child that you can get all the vagaries that wish.
  • Do not buy toys and sweets Love your child. finds his time, even if a work does not come, and creep fatigue.Compensating for the lack of attention daze gifts, you look as a source of material amenities, not a loving parent.That is how a child will perceive you.
  • Speaking firm and decisive "no", do not be aggressive. kid should not feel your refusal as a desire to hurt him.He should feel that you love and protect him, but decided not to change.
  • Teach your child from the cradle, not material values ​​are paramount, and human. educating, project the thoughts and deeds is not the fact that one crumb became rich, and the fact that he became a happy, kind, honest and fair.And the rest will follow.
  • Dose material "goods" for the child. No need to fill up his toys / treats and let all that pleases little angels.The child is well behaved throughout the week, cleaned the room and helped you?Buy him something that he had long asked for (within a reasonable amount).The child needs to know that just because the sky did not fall.If you have a limited family budget does not need to break into a pancake and work in three shifts, to buy the kid an expensive toy.Especially if you need money for more important goals.A child at this age is not able to estimate your sacrifices, and all your efforts will be perceived as self-evident.In the end, "history repeats itself" - I have for you ... all my life ... and you ungrateful ... etc.
  • Encourage the child to independence. Give him the opportunity to earn money for a toy - even feel adult.Just do not try to pay for something that he removed his toys, wash or brought five - all he has to do other motives.A child who gets used "earn" at a young age, never sit around your neck during adolescence and beyond.For it will be a natural - work and support their needs on their own, like brushing your teeth and wash your hands after street.
  • more often heard the word "no" ("no"), the sooner the child gets used to it, and the less it responds. Try to 'no' did not sound ten times a day, otherwise it loses its meaning."No" to stop and puzzle.Therefore reduces the number of bans and prevents the risk of collision with the children of possible temptations.
  • restricting the child in "unnecessary" toys "harmful" sweets and other things, be humane towards him. If a child can not be a regular chocolate bar, it is not necessary when it eats the candies to cakes.Limited child - and limit yourself.


  • Explaining his kid "you can not" make allowances for his age. not enough to say "hands in the mouth can not be because they're dirty."We have to show him what a terrible bacteria enter the stomach with unwashed hands.
  • If you say crumbs "no", the Pope (grandmother, grandfather ...) does not have to say "yes." Marital "no" should be the same.
  • Seek to avoid the word "no", replacing it with a "yes." That is, look for a compromise.The kid wants to draw your expensive album?Do not cry and do not forbid, just take him by the hand and lead to the store - even choose for themselves the beautiful "adult" album.It requires a chocolate bar, but it can not be?Let yourself instead choose some delicious and healthy fruit.Of which, by the way, you can at home to do with natural juice.

If the kid understands you and adequately respond to the prohibitions required to encourage (the words) and praise him - "What I have done, all you know, very adult" and so forth. If a child sees that you enjoy, it will look for an opportunityplease you over and over again.

How to teach your child to say "no" - teach children important art refuse

correctly How competently to deny to the child, we have discussed above.But the task of parents is not only to learn to say "no", but also to teach the child.After all, he has to deal with situations where the science can come in handy. How to teach the crumbs to say "no"?


  • If your baby in something fails, do not deprive him of his right to refusal.He can also tell you "no".
  • Teach your child to distinguish the cases where it is used for personal gain by situations where people really need help, or whether there is a need to do as asked.If a teacher asks to go to the board - "no" would be inappropriate.If someone asks a child handle (forgot his home) - you need to help out a friend.And if this someone begins to regularly ask the pen, the pen, the money for the breakfast, the toy for a few days - it is consumerism, which should be cultural, but surely stop.That is, teach the baby to distinguish the important from the unimportant.
  • Learn weighed "for" and "against."The (good and bad) may result in an act of the child if he would agree to another request.
  • Teach your child laugh it off if he does not know and is afraid to give directly.If you deny the fear in the eyes can cause thus scorn and ridicule mates and failure with humor is always a child - king position.
  • Any answer baby will look credible, if the kid does not hide the eyes and confidently held.Body Language - a very important component.Show your child how behave gesture confident people.

little tricks to help for older kids.

As can be refused if the child does not want to do this directly:

  • Oh, I can not on Friday - we were invited to visit.
  • I would gladly have given you the prefix for the evening, but I had lent to a friend.
  • just can not.Do not even ask (with mysteriously sad view).
  • Do not even ask.I'd love to, but my parents again be put under lock and announced a boycott of the family.It took me back in that time.
  • Wow!And I just wanted to ask you the same thing!

course, speak directly - a more honest and useful.But sometimes it is better to use one of the above excuses not to offend his friend refused.And remember, parents, that a healthy ego is still harmed to nobody (which is healthy!) - About themselves, too, need to think.If the child was a "sat on his neck," it will not be unsympathetic, if he said a categorical "no."After all, aid should only be unselfish.And if each one helped him, it does not mean that he now has the right to dispose of the forces and the time your child as their own.