responsibility for the upbringing of the baby always lies with the parents.They bring in the little man as the positive aspects of the character, and the exact opposite.Parent - is a kind of an artist - that draw, then the world will see.Therefore, the causes of childhood greed must be sought, above all, in educational methods mom and dad.
As children growing greed - greed manifestation of the child at different stages of age
unwillingness to share his toys, clothes and even eating their babies have noticed many parents.Often mothers have to blush for their crumbs at a party or on the playground when a little greedy peers shouts, "Do not give!" And hiding behind shovel or car.Or hide his toys at home from her brother (sister), categorically unwilling to share things even "for a short while, just to play."What are the reasons?
- 1,5-3 years.At this age concept of "his / alien" the baby has not yet been formed. Because now belongs crumbs all foreseeable them peace.
- For the 2nd year baby is consciously utters the word "mine" and stops talking about himself, his favorite, in the 3rd person.This means that the start of the first major stage of psychological development of the child.Now it forms representation about himself and begins to establish boundaries between "their" and "foreign".The word "my" of the child - a symbol of his personal space, including all that is dear to the crumbs.This is a natural process of the formation of the psyche and the emergence of the concept of "alien".Accordingly, blame the kid at this age of greed should not be.
- For the 3rd year the baby acquires the ability to say "no."In the absence of this ability will be hard kid, "balance" at a later age.Inability to say "no" leads to indulgence whims of other people in detriment to borrowed money, which then months (or even years) are asked to return back and to other consequences.Learn to say "no" - is important.But also important to teach the child to accurately track the verge - where it is a natural reaction to the actions of others it becomes greed.
- After 3 years, begins a new stage of socialization.In the foreground there is communication.Toys and personal items are tools out this chat.For the baby comes the realization that the share - is to gain people and greedy - so turn them against themselves.
- At the age of 5-7 years of greed - an internal disharmony kid, indicating internal problems.Parents should "dig deeper" and find out, first of all, in its methods of education.
main causes of greed in children: so why child - greedy?
to «cure» greed, need to understand - where it came from.Experts identify several main reasons:
- child lacks parental love, attention and warmth.Most often, a little stiff growing up in families where expression of love is a gift from another very busy parents.Kid, yearning for attention mom and dad, recognize them as a particularly valuable gifts, in this case, greed becomes a natural (but wrong!) Consequence of the situation.
- zeal of the brothers (sisters).More often - to the younger.If brother (sister) gets more attention and affection of the parent, the child is automatically expresses his resentment manifestations of greed and aggression towards his brother (sister).
- excess of parental attention and love.Of course, parental love is never too much, but allowing the child to all (with the cradle), and satisfying his every whim, my mother finally brings a little tyrant.And even if sudden stop to indulge his whims - it will not change the situation.The child simply does not understand - why earlier it was possible to all and now - nothing?
- shy, hesitant.The only friends chained in communication baby - it's his toy.With them, the child feels safe.Therefore, the share of the baby, of course, does not want.
- Excessive frugality. This is the case when the baby is so worried about the safety and integrity of his expensive toy that does not allow anyone to play them.
What to do, how to deal with the child's greed - practical advice for parents
How to treat children's greed?What should parents do?Experts divided its recommendations:
- small child always says everything is new, beautiful and "brilliant" from their peers and friends.And, of course, it requires the same for themselves.And, to be sure coincided color, size, taste, etc.. Do not just fly to the shop and meet the whim of crumbs: 5 years old kid would require the same as the other, the bike in 8 years - the same computer, 18- Vehicles.The effect of "snowball" is provided.Explain to the child from the cradle - that you can buy and what not, why all desire can not be executed, why is harmful envy and greed.Teach your baby to accept the world as it is, to appreciate the work of others.
- softly and calmly explain crumbs - why he feels this way, why greed - it's bad, why it is important to share.Teach him promptly recognize their emotions, to share their positive and negative from the stop when bad feelings begin to prevail over good.
- Bookmark moral values lasts up to 4-5 years.In 10 years, it is too late to fight the tyrant within the child, which you have created or inspected.
- not reproach or scold a little greedy - eliminate the causes that lead to his greed.Do not go on about his fear of "oh, that people will think" - think about the baby, he will have to live with this greed in society.
- Do not overdo yourself clearly separate the child from the greed of its normal natural desire - to defend their territory, defend their rights and their identity.
- can not take away from their baby toy and give it to the sandbox of the chubby little boy whimpering against his child.As a child, it is equivalent to treason.It is necessary to explain to a child - why it is important to share and make the kid he wanted to.
- Teach your child by example: help those who need help feed abandoned pets in kennels, share with your baby all - a piece of cake, ideas, household chores and leisure.
- not hang on crumbs label "greedy" and do not bend to demonstrate their rejection of this feeling."You are - greedy, I'm not friends with you today" - this is the wrong approach and the usual parental manipulation of a child.The kid in this situation, ready for anything, as long as my mother fell in love with him again.As a result, educational objectives are not achieved (the child "ceases to be greedy" from the banal fear), but inside the baby grows diffident man.
- any child for understanding any situation need motivation.Be prepared to explain to the kid always what is good and what is bad is in this "feeding" your child to become interested, understood and made conclusions.
- not ashamed of the child at the others - "everyone will think that you are - greedy, ay-ay-ay!". This is also the wrong approach. So you educated man, which will depend on the opinions of strangers.Why would a child think about it think of others?The child should think about that before myself to be honest, kind and sympathetic.
- advance prepare the child before taking a stroll or going to visit that "there will be kids."Take a toy, it is a pity that he did not share.
- crumbs Tell me about the pros and cons: the joys of sharing toys, that with a good non-greedy man everything is always happy to interact and play with cormorants do not like, and so on. What are some examples of "personal experience".The main thing - not "poke" your child, talk about a hypothetical "third person", so that the child does not think like you linchuete him, but realized that greed - it's bad.
- If your toddler toys hiding in his bosom, and takes other people's pleasure, explains that this "exchange" is not honest.
- Give your child watches and learn to understand in a time warp.If a pipsqueak so much afraid that the toy is broken or not returned, then define the time during which "Mary will play and give the machine."Let the child decide for itself - for 5 minutes or half an hour it changes toys.
- Praise the child for his kindness. Let him remember that his mother is happy when he is with someone shares toys or when an outsider helps children and adults.
- Teach your child to respect other people's desires (that is, other people's personal space border).If one of your kid does not want to share toys - it is his right, and this right must be respected.
- If a kid wants to even walk your favorite car in the playground, and did not plan it with anyone to share, then grab a toy, which your child will not worry.Let him choose them himself.
Remember that greed - is normal for toddlers. Over time, if you become a good teacher for crumbs, greed will take place itself.Have patience.Growing up, the child will see and feel the positive impact of good deeds, and the support and approval of mom and dad would further strengthen it in understanding that it is functioning correctly.