successful and proper upbringing of children is impossible in the absence of parental authority.A growing authority in the eyes of the child, in turn, is impossible without serious painstaking work of parents.If parents in the eyes of the baby have this authority, the child will listen to their opinions, more responsible for their actions, to tell the truth (the authority and credibility go side by side) and so on. Of course, you can not "earn" the credibility of the blue a couple of days - itIt does not work enough for one year.
How to avoid mistakes in the upbringing of their children, and how is the credibility?
- Authority suppression (suppression). Every mistake, trick or omission causes a child from their parents desire to scold, spank, punish, answer rudeness.The main method of education - punishment.Of course, no positive results, this method will not bring.The consequences will be cowardice child's fear, lies and cruelty education.The emotional bond with parents disappear as the umbilical cord, and trust in them will disappear altogether without a trace.
- Authority pedantry. That is human too, pathologically neat, precise and formalist.The purpose of this method of education is one (similar to the previous) - absolute obedience limp child.And even unawareness of such behavior of parents - not an excuse.Because only the authority, based on love and trust of parents, brings positive results.Unquestioning obedience carries only detrimental.Yes, the child will be disciplined, but the "I" will be lost in the bud.The result - infantilism, looking back at the parents in decision-making, a denial, cowardice.
- Authority notations. Constant "educational conversations" transform a child's life into hell.Endless notation and teachings that parents think pedagogically correct torque education - is not wisdom.A couple of words in a joking tone, or "notation" passed through the game with a child, give more serious results.A child in such a family is rarely smiles.He is forced to live "right", although these rules does not tally with the children's attitude.And this authority, of course, is false - in fact, it does not exist.
- Authority love parade. also refers to a form of false authority.In this case the demonstration feelings, emotions and actions of parents' splash over the edge. "The child sometimes even forced to hide from his mother, adhering to their "amplification pusi" and with a kiss, or the Pope, trying to impose their communication.Excessive sentimentality leads to selfishness in child rearing.As soon as the baby will understand that this situation can be successfully use, parents will be hostages of their own "love."
- Authority kindness. too soft, kind and compliant parents - a good "fairies", but not mom and dad having authority.Of course, they are wonderful - do not spare the money for the baby, are allowed to paddle through puddles and dig in the sand in a smart dress, water and juice to draw a cat on the wallpaper with the words "Well he's still young."In order to avoid conflicts and any negatives, parents sacrifice everything.The result: the child grows moody egotist incapable to appreciate, understand and think.
- authority of friendship. Ideal.It could be, if not passed all bounds.Of course, children need to be friends.When parents - best friends, this is the ideal family.But if the educational process is outside of this friendship, the process is turned back - we start our children "educate".In such a family, a child may call his father and mother by name, easy to be rude to answer them and to put in place, to break off in mid-sentence, and so forth. That is to say, respect for parents is disappearing.
How can that be?How to find the golden middle in order not to lose the trust of the child and at the same time to remain his friend?Remember the main :
- Be natural. not play roles that do not lisp, be honest and open.Children always feel the falseness and accept it as normal behavior.
- allow the child to be an adult to communicate with you, do not go beyond the red line. Respect for parents - above all else.
- Trust your child around.
- Remember that child-raising affects not only the method of education, and family relationships in general. well as your actions, talk about the neighbors and friends and so on.
- child - a child. Children obedient one hundred percent does not happen in nature.The child is exploring the world, looking mistaken knows.Therefore, the error of the child - it is an occasion to talk to him in a friendly tone (better joking, or through their own history), but not to punish, whipped, or yell.Any punishment is rejection.Do you want the child to trust you - keep your emotions to yourself, be wiser.
- Allow your child to be independent. Yes, he was wrong, but it's his fault and he should correct it.So the child learn to take responsibility for their actions.Spilling water?Let him wipe.Peer insulted - even apologize.He broke the cup?It does not matter, shovel and broom in hand - let studying sweep.
- you - an example for your child. Want swore he did not?Do not swear at the child.In order not to smoke?Throw.To read the classics instead of "Cosmopolitan"?Take a prominent place unnecessary pile of magazines.
- Be merciful, learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness. your child will learn from the example of this since childhood.He will know that the poor old woman, which is not enough for bread, to help with money.What if the street is offend weak - need to intercede.What if you are wrong - it is necessary to admit a mistake and apologize.
- child criticizes you?this is normal. He also has that right.You can not say - "you jerk, even life will teach me," if a child tells you that "smoking - it's bad," or advises to go to the gym because you are no longer placed on the scales.Healthy constructive criticism - it is always good and good.Teach your child the right to criticize.Not "Well, you whore," and "Mommy, let's go to the hairdresser and make a cool hairstyle to you."Not "small, udelat you again?", And "my son, my mother was so tired otstiryvaya your shirt, even to go to bed in the morning.Come on you'll be more careful? ".
- Do not try to bend the child under their model of the world.If a child wants to jeans oblipku and piercing - it's his choice.Your task - to teach children to dress up and look like it to look harmonious, neat and stylish.Methods for this - a lot.
- views of the child should always be taken into account in making family decisions. child - not a doll furniture and a family member who also has the right to vote.
And most importantly - love your baby and try to spend more time with him.Parental attention - this is what is most lacking for children.