20 phrases that the child can not speak for what ever - dangerous words that break the life of children

By Admin | Children
27 March 2016

Communicating with children we rarely think about the semantic content of our words and the consequences of certain phrases in the child's psyche. But even quite innocuous at first glance, words can inflict substantial harm to a child.To understand - it is impossible to talk to your child ...

  • «Do not you sleep - babayka (gray wolf, Baba Yaga, terrible girl Dzhigurda etc.) Will come!". Never use scare tactics.Because of this intimidation kid learns about babayku only part of the rest of fear just fly past.It also may include phrases like "Will you run away from me, you seize a terrible uncle (arresting officer, will take a witch and so on.). not grow out of a neurotic child. Warn about the dangers of child's need, but not by intimidation and detailed explanation - that it is dangerous and why.

you can not tell the child

  • «Not doesh porridge - remain small and weak» .The phrase of the same series of horror stories.Look for more humane ways to feed the baby using creative tactics, not zapugivatelnuyu.For example,
    "You'll have a mess - you will become clever and strong like Daddy."And do not forget to then exploit children (eaten porridge) is required to weigh and measure the growth crumbs - sure, he had to grow up after breakfast and catch up.
  • «Will ape (squint eye, showing tongue, biting his nails, etc.) - And will remain so» or «Will you pick your nose - finger stuck." Again, refuse meaningless exclamations, calmly explain to the kid - why you should not ape and pick your nose, and then says that "Because of the cultural and obedient children always grow true heroes and great men."Crumbs and showing photos of the brave general who also once was a little boy, but he never picked his nose and most of all loved the discipline.

you can not tell the child

  • «With whom are you so clumsy!" "From what place you hands grow", "Do not touch!I will do the very best! ". If you want to bring an independent and self-confident person, throw these phrases from your vocabulary.Yes, the kid can beat a cup while carrying her to the sink.Yes, he can break a couple of favorite dishes from the service, while helping you to wash the dishes.But he really wants to help her mother, it tends to become adult and independent.These phrases you are "at the root" of his desire to kill, how to help you and to cope without your help.Not to mention the fact that these words belittle children's self-esteem - and then do not be surprised that the baby is growing apathetic, afraid of society, and it is still 8-9 years you tie a shoelace, and drive him to the toilet.
  • «Your brother has long made all the lessons, and you all sit," "All children as children, and you ...", "neighbor Vanka is the tenth letter of school brought, and you - one of two." Never compare your child or his siblings or peers, nor with anyone else.The parents of the child have to see the support and love, not accusations and belittling his dignity.Such a "comparison" does not encourage a child to taking new heights.On the contrary, the baby may withdraw into themselves, lose faith in your love and even "neighbor Vanka revenge" for his "ideal".

you can not tell the child

  • «You've got the most beautiful, the best!" "Forget you're on your classmates - they are up to you to grow and grow!" And so forth. Excessive praise obscure child adequate assessment of reality.Disappointment that a child will experience when he realizes that he is not unique, can cause serious harm to the psyche.No one but my mother would not treat a girl like a "star", which made the latter will seek recognition of their "star" in all ways.As a consequence - conflicts with their peers and others. Cultivate crumbs ability to adequately assess themselves and their strength.Praise is necessary, but not overstated.And your approval should apply to the act of the baby, and not to his identity.Not "Your hack - the best" and "You did a great hack, but you can make it even better."Not "You - the most beautiful", and "You really are this dress."
  • «No computer is not completed lessons", "No cartoons until eaten whole mess" and so forth. Tactics - "you told me, I tell you." Do these tactics will not bring fruit.More precisely, it will bring, but not those who are waiting for you.Ultimate "barter" eventually will turn against you: "If you want me to do lessons?Let the street. "Is not conducive to the whims of resorting to this tactic.Do not teach your baby to "bargain."There are rules, and the child has to follow them.While it is small - show persistence and achieve his.He does not want to get out?Think of the game before going to sleep - who will take away the toys.So you and your baby will involve a process of cleaning, and teach him to clean things every night and avoid ultimatums.

you can not tell the child

  • «With such a slut, I'm not going anywhere," "This I do not love you," and so forth. Love Mom - this phenomenon is unshakable.For her, there can be no conditions "if."Mom loves it.Always, at any time, any - dirty, sick, disobedient.Love with conditions undermines the child's confidence in the truth of that love.Besides resentment and fear (stop loving it, throw and so on.), This phrase does not bring.Mom - a guarantee of protection, love and support in every situation.But not the seller in the market - "will be a good boy, I'll love you."
  • «We all wanted a boy, and you're born," "Why I just gave birth to you" and so forth. catastrophic mistake - is to tell your child.The whole world knows that the child falls for him at this moment.Even say just "toward" a phrase by which you do not mean "nothing" could cause serious trauma baby.
  • «If not for you, I would have worked for the prestigious job (drove a Mercedes, was vacationing on the islands and so forth.) .Do not shoulder the child or his unfulfilled dreams undone things - the child is not to blame.The words hung over the child responsibility and guilt for your "disappointments."

you can not tell the child

  • «Because I said so!", "Do what you ordered!", "I do not care what you want it!". It's a tough ultimatum that any child will have only one desire - to protest.Look for other ways of beliefs and do not forget to explain - why the child should do this or that.Do not try to subdue the will of the child so that he, as an obedient soldier unquestioningly obey you in everything.First, absolutely obedient children just does not happen.Secondly, it is not necessary to impose his will - let developing independent person, has its own point of view and is able to defend its position.
  • «I have from your screams a headache", "Stop terrorizing me, I have a weak heart," "I have health is not a state-owned," "Do not you - my mother has a spare?" And so forth. Ifyou do anything to happen, the feeling of guilt will haunt the child all his life.Look for reasonable arguments to "stop disgrace" baby.Yelling is impossible, because in the next apartment sleeping baby.You can not play football at night in the apartment, because the little old people live below.It is impossible to roller skate on a new floor, because my dad spent a lot of time and effort to lay the floor.

you can not tell the child

  • «That I did not see you anymore!", "Tailor with eyes!" "Yes, so that you failed," and so forth. Implications of my mother's words could be disastrous.If you feel that your nerves on edge - go away to another room, but never allow yourself to such phrases.
  • «Yes to on, only leave me alone." understand mom, of course, possible.When a child is the third time in a row moan, "Well, Mom, well, let '- the nerves pass.But surrendering, you open baby "New Horizons" - mom can "break" the whims and whining.
  • «Once again I hear this word - I take my TV", "I'll see this one more time - do not get a great phone," etc.. There is no sense in these phrases, if you do not keep your word.The child will simply cease to take your threat seriously.The kid must be clearly understood that for violation of certain rules must always be a certain penalty.

you can not tell the child

  • «Shut up, I said!" "Shut your mouth", "Fast sat down", "Hands off!" And so forth. child - not your dog, which you can give the command,muzzle and put on a chain.This man, who was also to be respected.The investigation of such education - equivalent relevant to you in the future.On your request "to come home early," one day you will hear - "leave me alone" and to request "bring some water" - "she'll take."Rudeness return rudeness squared.
  • «Ai found because of what upset!" "Enough to suffer because of nonsense." What nonsense for you, for the baby - a real tragedy.Think of yourself as a child.Waving a phrase from a child, you demonstrate your contempt for his problems.

you can not tell the child

  • «No money!I do not buy. " course, this phrase is easiest "pay off" from the kid in the store.But these words the child understands that the 20th machine - superfluous and 5th chocolate per day would lead him to the dentist.The child understands only that mom and dad - two virtually destitute man who never, for there is no money.And if the money was - that would buy and the 20th car and 5th chocolate.And from there it begins to envy the children more "successful" parents and so on. Be reasonable - do not be lazy to explain and tell the truth.
  • «Stop writing!", "There are no monsters!", "What the hell are you talking about," and so forth. If the child shared my fears (babayka in the closet, the shadows on the ceiling), then this phraseyou not only will not calm down child, but also undermine the credibility.Then the baby just will not share with you my experiences, because "my mother would not believe, will not understand and will not help."Not to mention the fact that "untreated" children's fears go with the child throughout his life, becoming a phobia.

you can not tell the child

  • «What are you bad boy!" "Phew, what a wicked child", "Oh, you pig!" "Well, you meanie! »and so forth. The conviction - the worst method of education.Avoid condemning words, even in a fit of anger.

you can not tell the child

Has your family life like situation?And as you come out of them?Share your stories in the comments below!