Each cell of society - young family - dream of own square meters to live apart from relatives uvstvovat himself the master and mistress of the home.
But sometimes circumstances are such that newlyweds to live with their parents , while each member of the family need to make an effort to keep warm intimate atmosphere in the house.
How to achieve maximum comfort in the circumstances - see below.
content of the article:
- Pros and cons of living together
- most frequent causes of conflict
- Way out of difficult situations
young family lives with his parents - the pros and cons of living togetherwith parents
- If a young family does not have the means to buy or rent a house, you live together with parents to help dig enough money for the purchase of your space.Read also: How young family to get a loan to buy a home?
- positive family experience of the older generation , built on trust, mutual respect and understanding will help a young couple to build relations on the same principles.
- When the two families live under one roof, domestic issues solved much easier .For example, while the daughter at work-in-law can cook dinner for the whole family, and after dinner, the daughter simply will wash the dishes.Or son-in at the weekend to help father-dig potatoes in the country, which is intended for the whole family.
- intimate conversations between parents and children help strengthen relationships between the generations .By the way, these conversations can learn a lot about its second half, which will help to reveal the elect from all sides.
All these points can be attributed to the pluses.But as you know, every coin has two sides.And in a young family living together with their parents have downsides :
- After the wedding, at the initial stage of cohabitation among young comes period ointments and addiction to each other .This process is very complex for both spouses.To this is added the need to create more friendly relations with their parents.Not every young family will be able to sustain such a double burden.
- Emerging conflicts with parents at the household level (daughter not to put a plate in-law in his spare time with the father refused to go on a fishing trip, etc.) do not contribute to the strengthening of a young family, but on the contrary, added quarrels in relationshipsbetween the young couple.See also: How to maintain good relations daughter-in-law?
- parents are very hard to resist not to give advice , to impose their view of a young family.They just need to recommend how to bring up children, to solve economic issues and spending the family budget.Psychologists say that for this reason most young families disintegrate.
- way, if one spouse wants to live with her parents on the grounds that "in order not to offend them" - it is an alarming signal that indicates failure of the counterparty to live independently , as well as personally to make decisions and take responsibility for them.It depends on the parents, and you, if you accept the situation, have to live by their rules.See also: Your man - a sissy?
live with parents husband or wife: the most frequent causes of conflict between the family and the young parents
I remember a famous monologue from the film: "I have great respect for your parents.But, thank God, I'm not an orphan.Why do I have to constantly adjust to your parents?If I do something, it's examined under a microscope.It is such a strain! »
Every family has its own rules and traditions .The spouse who will live with strangers parents will always feel "at ease".
- Most often conflicts break out in the domestic violence , for example, the daughter splashing in the bathroom for a long time or not, as mother-cooked soup.And the son in law, rather than go to the market, as does his father-in is usually asleep before 10am.Constant moralizing parents cause negative emotions, which then translate into either parents or each other.
- Another common cause of conflict is the theme of parenting .Grandparents who are used to raise the child in the old, imposing this system and young parents who may want to bring up her baby on modern methods.
- Sooner or later emerge and financial claims. Parents who fully pay utility bills, buy household appliances into the house (washing machine, microwave oven, stove), and other items used by all, in the end, it will bother, begin accusations and misunderstandings.
How to live with their parents and maintain a great relationship - a way out of difficult situations
If a young family lives with their parents, it must be remembered that owners of housing in which they live, parents are , and theirthe views have to be considered.
- to live together for all has been as comfortable as possible (as possible), everyone needs when communicating be polite, do not raise your voice, to try to understand the interlocutor .
- Parents should try to be patient , not to impose their views, if you give advice - in a delicate manner.
- All should help each other in difficult times , support, encourage, if a young family or parents having problems.
- desirable, more to live together with their parents to draw clear boundaries from: to discuss issues concerning payment of utilities, education of children, etc.
live with their parents the wife or husband may even be very comfortable, quiet and convenient, if between parents and their child is not too close connection .And if Mom still did not dare to give your child some "slob" or "armless daughter," it is better to make every effort to quickly live separately .