According to the statistics, the birth rate in recent years, not only did not rise but even decreased significantly.Across the vast country it is not so noticeable, but two (and more and more three) children in families appear less frequently.How many children is considered optimal in our time?What do they say about this psychology?
content of the article:
- family without children
- family with one child
- family with two children
- family three children and more
- How to decide how many children to have?
- Comments and opinions of our readers
family without children - What is the solution to modern couples not to have children?
Why do couples refuse to parenthood?Voluntary childlessness can be caused by many reasons .The main ones are:
- The reluctance of one of the spouses have children.
- lack of sufficient financial resources to ensure normal child.
- desire to live for yourself.
- housing problem.
- Career - lack of time to raise children.Read: What is more important - the child or career, how to solve?
- lack of maternal instinct.
- Psychological trauma in childhood, migrated at a young age suffering that later develop into fear of maternity (paternity).
- unstable and unfavorable situation in the country for the birth of children.
family with one child - the pros and cons of such a model family
Ironically, not a career or even a deficit of finance are today the reason that the family stopped at a baby.A key cause of "small families" is the desire to give the child more time and give it a loved one, the best of everything.And, besides, to spare him from the jealousy of brothers-sisters - that is, to give all my love to him alone.
What are the pros of the family, which grows only one kid?
- horizon only child in the family is wider than that of their peers from families with many children.
- a higher level of intelligence.
- gusts All parents (education, attention, development, education) are sent to a child.
- child receives the optimal amount of all that is required for its growth and development and, of course, a good mood.
substantially more minuses:
- child is difficult to pour into children's collective.For example, he used the house that he was not hurt, not pushes, will not disappoint.A team in the game children are aggressive enough.
- the growing baby is a lot of pressure from parents who dream that he will justify their hopes and embedded power.What often causes serious psychological problems in the child.
- have a child more likely to grow up selfish - it is a child gets used to the fact that the world should revolve only around him.
- The child is not available in a large family orientation for leadership and achievement of objectives.
- Due attention child often grows spoiled.
- manifestation overprotective inherent parents of the baby, creates and strengthens children's fears.The child may grow dependent, not capable of decisive action, not independent.
family with two children - the benefits of a family with two children;whether or not to give birth to a second child?
Not everyone can decide on a second baby.This usually prevent memories of childbirth and pregnancy, difficulties with raising their first child, just 'calm down' the issue of work, fear - "and pull me a second?" And so on. The thought - "and not whether to continue ..." - arises fromthose parents that have already appreciated the experience of the birth of the first child and realized that they wanted to continue.
But it is not only the desire to continue, but the age difference children, which depends very much.
difference in 1-2 years - particularly
- In most cases, the children become friends.
- They are fun to play with toys you can buy directly on the two, and things go straight from the senior Bush.
- Jealousy is practically absent, because the senior simply did not have time to feel its exclusivity.
- Mom forces which have not yet made up for after the first birth, gets tired.
- children very rapidly ascertain their relationship.Especially since, when the younger begins to "destroy" the older space.
difference in 4-6 years - particularly
- Mom a break from time to pregnancy, diapers and night feedings.
- Parents already have considerable experience in dealing with the child.
- Junior can learn from the older child all the skills, allowing the development of junior faster.
- Senior longer require so much attention and support of parents.In addition, he helps her mother to entertain the younger.
- relations among the younger children go under the scheme - "the boss / subordinate."Often they - openly hostile.
- clothes and toys for the child have to buy again (usually by this time everything is already distributed or thrown to the place did not take).
- Jealousy older - frequent and painful phenomenon.He had already become accustomed to its "uniqueness."
difference 8-12 years - especially
- Prior older adolescent crisis there is still time.
- reason to be jealous of the older less - he has lived mostly outside the family (friends, school).Senior
- can become a significant support and help my mother - he is able to not only entertain, but also to stay with the child when the parents need to, for example, to leave urgently for.
- Of the minuses: the strong infringement of senior attention, you can lose that connection with him understanding and intimacy that was before the birth of the younger.
family three children and more - the optimum number of children in the family or the stereotype of "the fruit of misery?"
Opponents of large families any more than its supporters.Although they both realize that three or more children in the family - it's hard work without holidays and weekends.
The undoubted benefits of a large family include:
- lack of overprotective parents - that is, the early development independence.
- lack of communication problems of children with their peers.Children at home get the first experience of "infusion into society."
- Parents do not put pressure on the child requirement "to meet the expectations."
- Availability of benefits from the state.
- absence of egoistic traits in children the habit of sharing.
complexities of a large family
- take quite a lot of effort to solve childhood conflicts and maintain order in the relationship and in the house.
- needed impressive means to dress / to put on children to feed, to ensure proper medical care and education.
- Mom will be very tired - worries she gets three times more.About
- career mom will have to forget.
- Jealousy children - a constant companion of the mother.Children will be competing for her attention.
- lack of peace and quiet even when you want to hide for 15 minutes and take a break from worries.
How to decide how many children in the family - psychological advice
According to psychologists, the need to have children without regard to the stereotypes of others tips and opinions of relatives.Only the self-chosen path is correct and happy.But to overcome all the difficulties of parenthood can only be the case when the choice was mature and conscious .It is clear that the desire to give birth to eight children's living conditions in a communal apartment and without a decent wage is not supported by sufficient reasons.The "minimum", according to experts - is the two kids.With regard to the increasing number of children - need rely on their own strength, time and opportunity .