unrequited love ... This was written a lot of books, sung a lot of songs, directors find in these stories the most successful scenes for films and actors passionately read monologues from the stage.And every time the author offers his own - new or not so new - solution: how to survive unrequited love , how to cope with it, and whether to handle?
We are so accustomed to thinking of love as a natural part of your life, do not think that - what it is: first unrequited love. And someone is puzzling, as it is a feeling that the poets sing, you can learn to look for reasons and ... ways to cope with it?
unrequited love, in fact, is not always a natural and normal sense.And if you have no means for thirteen years, and relations have remained in the closed circle of unrequited love, it is worth considering: as if everything is OK?What is the reason for this situation?
to unrequited love does not become your constant companion, and not break your life, making it difficult to see the happiness - i
Psychologists are seven main reasons unrequited feelings:
- Unhappy love for another because of unrequited love for yourself
impossible to overcome for some reason, their own personal problems going on,According to most psychologists, from the inability to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are.Trying to compensate for the lack of love within you love to another leads to the most negative consequences:
- Firstly, there is a "loop" at the facility : only this man seems the only solution, the only meaning in life, the only thing that you need tocomplete happiness.
- Secondly, we cease to see the source of the problem in itself, and can no longer even try to change the situation in any other way.No one can make you happy but yourself.In fact, you are substituting his love to the person attempting to get his love.
most unpleasant in this situation, you will sooner or later be forced to grovel, to buy, to ask, to demand - anything, as long as people have been with you.But as a result you do not get a required you love - only broken relationships.
Often, the need for love and personal life does not arise by themselves, as a necessity, but as a status in order to feel like a full-fledged, be "like everyone else."But often trying to build a relationship with a partner only lead to problems.
Invented love does not bring you satisfaction and happiness, if you honestly do not recognize the true cause of the beginning of the relationship . In such "pressures of society," there is nothing wrong: for you - it is you, solid and self-sufficient person, and if you need to be happy outside wall, you need to be "like everyone else" - is not a crime.
But understanding the true motivations will help build a relationship with a partner more successfully so - and without major disappointments in love.
- Kids scenario
It - one of the psychological characteristics of a person's identity: to play the role, repeating the scenario familiar and comfortable for our consciousness.That is why a person who does not have a child a positive example of a valid and valuable relationship between the parents often can not build another model of the family, choosing a subconscious level partners one person will be able to repeat the scenario.Not because the script perfectly - in just because it is familiar.
H ichego except misunderstanding, frustration and suffering of such a relationship will not do. understand how to get rid of an unhappy love affair, in which case it is difficult, and change the scenario laid in childhood - even harder.But this is possible.Someone manages himself, someone needs the support of a competent psychologist.
- Love - this is not love
Love has little to do with attraction and reckless affection, it - no passion, blinding man, forcing him to look at the object of desire through the "rose-colored glasses."
passion - not the foundation on which to build a long and lasting relationship. A few months later the love burn, and the reality that you have to face, is likely to be far less as it appeared at the beginning of a relationship.
- need for the problems
Yes, sometimes feel miserable - the need for a person!In all around these people see the injustice to itself, every detail of the mountain erected problems.Not surprisingly, and in relationships with a partner they start to stick to the same script, getting not only the charge of negative emotions, but also a certain hormonal surge.
realize that you yourself, own hands, doing joint life miserable and full of challenges, easy.But if you try to see something good in the situation, you make sure that this can be obtained not less - and sometimes even more - you needed such emotions.
Yet the Bible was written, "Do not make yourself an idol", because nobody has anything good this way has not led.Fanaticism is one of the downsides of love.
Such a cobbled together "love", the desire to dissolve in your favorite leads to emotional and psychological dependence on another person, that, ultimately, will not bring happiness.
myth that life can only be the one and only love, is very common.But the fact of the matter is that it is - a myth!
polygamy man by nature, so "hung up" on one failed relationship, put a cross on the future and rest assured that "he alone can make me happy, and if he does not, then I do not need nobody» - not thebest.
Love - is a wonderful feeling that makes our lives brighter, brings a sense of happiness and harmony in the world.But unhappy love - is also part of our lives. We suffer only from love to learn to love.
Once the wise King Solomon advised a man who did all the good, but no one is getting for this love: "Love!" And it is - the wisest advice that we can give!
ability to love - the hard work, to learn to love - is not easy, but that is what eventually will bring you happiness!
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