problems and a lack of understanding on the mother-in-law, and - the situation is more than common.Of course, universal recipes "friendship" between them - in every situation needs its methods.
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But there are general guidelines that can reduce the degree of stress and to keep the peace between the eternal rivals.What psychologists advise?
- best recipe for a perfect relationship with her mother in law - separate accommodation. Moreover, the further - the rosier the relationship will be.Living with his parents and sister in law and her husband will constantly feel the pressure of her mother in law, which, of course, would not benefit the relationship of a young family.
- Whatever in-law, if there is no opportunity to distance, then it must take with all its qualities and parties .And to realize that is not your mother-rival.That is, do not try to "beat" and acknowledge (at least outwardly) its "supremacy".
- union with someone against her mother in law (with her husband, with the in-law and others.) Initially meaningless .Also as a result of the break in relations, it does not promise anything.
- If you decide to talk with her mother in law "from the heart", then Tara to focus on her opinions and desires , do not let the aggressive tone and try together to find a way out of the problem situation.
- Living-in-law, remember that kitchen - this is only its territory .Therefore farming to change anything in the kitchen, at its discretion should not be.But to maintain order, clean up after yourself - this is important.And, of course, in-law would be nice, if you ask her advice or prescription of any dish.
- How would you not like to complain about her husband's mother in law - you can not do that. even in jest.At a minimum, you will lose respect for her mother in law.
- In a situation of cohabitation immediately Speak rules his small family-law .That is, for example, do not go into your room, do not take things and so forth. Of course, it should be done only in a friendly tone.
- If the relationship with the mother-in you are looking for equality, then do not try to treat her like a daughter to her mother .On the one hand, well, when her daughter-in-law loves as a daughter.On the other hand, and it will control it as a child.You choose.
- -law does not want to maintain a normal relationship?The scandal is inevitable?And you, of course, to blame in all possible sins?Do not react. not respond in the same tone , not adding fuel to the fire.Inflames scandal subsides on its own.
- Do not forget that the mother in law - is also a woman.And what woman does not melt from the attention and gifts?No need to buy expensive things her respect, but small courtesies can greatly improve your relationship .
- Initially mark the boundaries in the relationship with the mother-in .It should be immediately clear in which areas you will not tolerate her interference.For the rest, be patient and wise.Unreasonably grumbles, complains?Think of something pleasant and miss her words go in one ear.
- Find a way to do without the help of her mother in law , even when it is absolutely necessary.This also applies to child care, and financial aid, and domestic situations.Rare-law will in these matters "birth mother".As a rule, you also then reproach that your children involved in it, you live with her money, and in the house without all the cockroaches with snakes already crawled to.
- any emerging-law conflicts to be solved together with her husband .Do not rush into the breach alone.And even more - do not do that in the absence of her husband.Then he will report on the conflict with the mother-in opinion, and you are in the "report" will not put in the best light.If the husband stubbornly refuses to "go into these babskie case," it is an occasion for a serious conversation with him, and not-in-law.Read: Who's next to you - a real man or a mama's boy?It is understood that the Parties to the conflict to choose the mother or wife no one wants, but if he's your little family the way, he will do everything to eliminate these conflicts.For example, talk with mom or find a separate version of the residence.