It seems that, after the wedding, people are just starting to live together, full of love, hope and rainbow romantic notions of family life.Why is the first year of marriage is considered to be the most difficult and critical for both spouses?What is new appears after the wedding?After all, the statistics show that the majority of divorces falls on the first years of marriage, especially the first.
See also: The crises of family relationships - how to avoid problems and to maintain a relationship?
We tried to figure out why so many couples have problems in the relationship after the wedding , and how to prevent these problems.
greatest stress - the main cause of the extinction of love after marriage
Despite the fact that the wedding is considered a joyous occasion, the researchers stress give him 50 points on a 100 point scale. This suggests that the couple has the right to feel anxiety, fatigue, nervousness, and maybe even anger and impotence.
If you have not lived together, and just
Now you understand that in terms of physiology, the beginning of married life is not as rosy, because the newlyweds after the wedding are constant tension and attempts to adapt .You can compare this with a trip to an unfamiliar city, but after such a trip lasts 10 days on the force and therefore bring only positive and adrenaline.
In the case of marriage everyone understands that this is a long journey , and sometimes overestimates the importance of the many details and underestimating other factors.
loss of illusions - one of the main reasons for the extinction of love after marriage
not having a clue about the common life, we try to anticipate events, inventing variations the topic, "What should be my family and partner."And rarely male and female submission match.
If a woman thinks that her life would be easier and more interesting , a man thinks that his life will be sexy and comfortable.
There is nothing wrong with that, except that both of them are wrong. Their ideas will come true only with time, and the duration of this period will depend on the couple and their desire to compromise with his own ego .
Hence the conclusion: sooner you forget about their expectations , the quicker happiness will come into your home.
inappropriately - a common cause of deterioration of relations after the wedding, the newlyweds
way, you can aggravate the situation their premarital conduct .This is especially true of girls, because they tend to adapt to male courtship.But after the serious union they want to talk about their needs and show their true nature.
Conclusion: « need to agree on the shores» .
Even before the wedding note, sincere whether you and your partner .Are not you embellish his image?It's nice to be close to your natural?Do you feel uncomfortable with it, and under what circumstances?
Try to show their personality, and not a false 'I » .Very good if you not only meet, have fun, but have common causes.This will help bypass the problem after the wedding, "I thought he was, but it was the other ...".
newlyweds need time to adapt
Realizing domestic shortcomings of your partner, you are entering into a period of adjustment , which consists of several stages.
initial stage - study boundaries, when everyone is trying to settle into life their desires.Usually at this time may be manipulated from both sides.
As a result, you move to another stage, from which there are 2 ways: compromise for the sake of a loved partner or asking "who is more important." you ask whether there is life after the wedding?But the answer is, you can only get at home.
If the pair managed to avoid breaking up at this stage, there is a stabilization of relations .People are reviewing their requirements and develop new habits.
If you strongly shaped the role does not suit , it will no longer avoid divorce, so try to find a harmonious position.Do not forget about your partner.
After this stage, you can re- recall their dreams , so began a period of "re maladjustment."As you can imagine, it is not so fatal, and the pair or final expenditures, or again feels temporary stabilization .
See also: How to understand that love has passed, and the divorce can not be avoided?
Silence problems often lead to the extinction of love newlyweds
Why spoil relations after the wedding?Maybe because you're so concentrate on the desires that forget interested in the needs of the partner ?
Normal conversation on the souls can relieve stress for both of you, as they say, "and in sorrow and in joy," but talk to correctly .
So, what to avoid in conversation with your beloved:
- low ratings of his abilities, labels or conviction.
- not petition councils.
- rhetorical question with an expression of resentment.
- false arguments and manipulation.
- Negatives generalizations from a single case.
- stinging jokes about him.
See also: What Not to Say to the man under any circumstances?
If you want to keep the love after the wedding, and not to win at any cost, then you come to stability much earlier and easier .This test will harden you and help keep your love for many happy years.