already many times discussed the topic that wrongs done to your loved ones, left scars destroy the fragile balance of life and often lead to the destruction of relations, which subsequently is no longer possible to restore.No wonder they say that a loved one hurts more.Best of all, of course, try to avoid offensive, injuring much words, but, unfortunately, in a fit of anger or rage, we cease to take care of yourself and your speech, actions, which are then difficult to forget.Let's discuss how and what you can do to survive and let the offense, not to conceal it in yourself and continue to live with joy and a light heart ...
content of the article:
- How to learn to forgive offenses?
- How to learn to forgive? ... Stages complex path
ability to forgive.How to learn to forgive offenses?
One of the most important and essential properties of human forgiveness is .It would seem that after a certain stage of life that science can master each.Not all succeed.Yes grievance and resentment - disco
Each of us is experiencing resentment on their own, and the depth of these experiences not only depends on the temperament and character features, but also on the education of the person, and even its physiology. Forgiveness - a rather difficult way , which sometimes takes a considerable amount of time.To throw off the burden of heavy thoughts because of the unpleasant incident, or the need to forget the insult at all, devoting all his ideas work, hobbies, interesting cases, or as soon as possible to forgive the offender - and this is very difficult, and not everyone is able to do.According to psychologists, sometimes it is simply impossible to forget the insult that caused.The memory of it is hammered into the subcortical brain, and constantly reminds about themselves, thereby causing offense to experience the moment again and again, or urges to take revenge, or causes a person to become more severe, sharp ...
very important question is, forgiving when ,under any circumstances.On the one hand the question is simple: Just when the offender apologized and repented.But there are also cases where the offender to ask for forgiveness is no longer in force.For example, when he goes to the other world.How, then, to live?With resentment and frustration with ease or pardon?Of course, everyone decides for himself, but is it worth stealing from such short life moments on offense? ....
But what exactly should never do - to avenge the offender .Revenge - an inexhaustible source of aggression that destroys not only the offended person, but also makes life unbearable people close to him.
How to forgive - the stages of a complex path
path to forgiveness is long and difficult.But in order to successfully overcome it and go try to overcome all the possible severe psychological barriers.
At this stage, a person suddenly realizes that resentment abruptly turned his life and not for the better.He begins to doubt the presence of justice in the world.
To successfully overcome this phase, a person must give vent to his feelings: anger, anger ....Reprimand may vykrichatsya, but not close friends, but with yourself.Or as a joke about his wife, who once a year turns into a snake crawls on the day in the woods - poshipet.And you, alone, said to himself hurt or go to the gym and let the will of anger, tumbling it, for example, the boxing "pear".
Well?It has become easier?Probably not much.Now comes the realization that the anger is not the best counselor and screaming, anger did not change anything and will not change.
What to do?Go the other way, not on the road of revenge and anger, and the path of understanding and forgiveness.At least for the sake of the liberation of negative emotions.
should analyze and look for possible causes of the behavior of the offender.Try to stand in his place.Of course, only if we are not talking about violence.
But in any case, one should not confuse the concept of "understanding" and "justify".It is not allowed to offend, but if it happens, is yet to find the reasons for your abuser to such actions.
Completing the path to forgiveness, the person decides how to live.Sometimes resentment experienced by putting up new goals, open new meanings of life, puts unmet goals.Disappears desire to be angry, creating a relaxed attitude to the offender, and, in some cases, and gratitude.As they say, there would have been a blessing in disguise!
We, adults, should learn from young children, how to truly forgive.
Few people from preschool age children for a long time there is a feeling of resentment.
Here guys just fought, poobzyvalis, cried, and a minute later they were again the best of friends, girlfriends.
This is because children have an optimistic, positive view of the world.For them the world is beautiful.All the people in it are good and kind.And with this attitude is not the place for long grudges.
Psychologists say that to achieve a positive attitude is necessary focus only on the positive memories and feelings .They will rejoice in the world to become better, kinder, and together with us will become brighter and the perception of the surroundings.
Of course, unfortunately, to forgive - not always be reconciled, and to keep any relationship.It happens that after the word "forgive" you need to say "goodbye" to avoid further disappointment.Sinceeven after forgiveness is not always possible to regain lost confidence and respect for the person.
incorrectly and forced to forgive , pressure hysterical, plaintive requests for forgiveness.To get rid of grab you and accumulated pain, it must first be aware of.
One should learn to forgive! through forgiveness is possible to regain the soul of the world, build a harmonious relationship with people. Do not hold a grudge - or on themselves or on others, it is so much easier to live.