Every parent knows - for the full development and mental health of the child, first of all, need a favorable environment to the full and happy family.Kid should grow mom and dad.But it happens that the fire of love between parents goes against sudden wind change, and life together has become both a burden.In this situation, the most affected is the child.How to be?Step on your throat and keep the relationship, continuing to sharpen a grudge against her husband did not love?Or divorce and not to torment each other, and how to survive a divorce?
content of the article:
- The reasons that women keep a family for a child
- Why women do not wish to save the family, even for children?
- Should I keep the family for the child?Recommendations
- steps to preserve the family for the child
- Joint life is impossible - what to do?
- Life after divorce and parental attitudes to child
- Reviews Women
The reasons that women keep a family for a child
- Total property (apartment, car, etc.). feelings faded, the total remained almost nothing.In addition to the child and the property.And to share an apartment or cottage is absolutely no desire.Income prevails over feelings, the child's interests and common sense.
- nowhere to go. This becomes the main reason in many cases.His property there, and nothing to remove.So we have to put up with the situation continuing to quietly hate each other.
- money. Losing money source for some women is equivalent to death.Someone can not work (there is no one to keep the child) who does not want to (get used to the quiet life well-fed), for someone to find a job is not possible.A child needs to be fed and clothed.
- Fear of loneliness. stereotype - divorcee with a "tail" nobody needs - firmly entrenched in many women's heads.Often in a divorce is possible to lose friends in addition to the second half.
- Reluctance to raise a child in a single-parent family ."Although some, but my father," "The child should be a happy childhood" and so forth.
Why women do not wish to save the family, even for children?
- desire to become independent.
- Fatigue from quarrels and quiet hatred.
- «If love is dead, then there is no point torture yourself ».
- « child will be much more comfortable , unless it is a constant witness quarrels."
Should I keep the family for the child?Recommendations
How would women do not dream of eternal love, but, alas, it happens - one day wake up, the woman realizes that with her quite a stranger.It does not matter why it happened.Love goes for many reasons - resentment, betrayal, a loss of interest in her once-beloved half.It is important to know what to do.What to do?Not everyone enough worldly wisdom.Not everyone is able to keep the peace and friendly relations with her husband.As a rule, one burns bridges and gone forever, the other suffers and cries at night in a pillow. What should I do to change the situation?
- Does it make sense to endure humiliation for the financial well-being?There is always an option - weigh, reflect soberly assess the situation.So if you lose a lot, if you leave?Of course, the budget will have to plan independently, and without work does not deal with, but there is no reason to become an independent?Do not depend on the unloved husband.Let there be less money, but for them not have to listen to other people's criticisms have your rights and to renew every day his torment.
- Of course, the child needs a complete family.But we assume, and the sky has.And if feelings died , and the child has seen his father only on weekends (or even less) - this is not a tragedy.The task of education is quite feasible and in such a small family.The main thing - self-reliant mother and, if possible, maintaining friendly relations with her husband.
- rare preservation of the family for the child to create a comfortable environment for him.Children feel the atmosphere in the family is very sensitive.And for the life of the baby in the family, where quarrels or hate absorb parents, not favorable .Such a life has no prospects and joy.Moreover, the consequences could be crippled kid's psyche and complex bouquet.And on the warm childhood memories and can not speak.
- Why silently hate each other? can always talk , to come to a unanimous decision weighted.Quarrels and insults to solve the problem is impossible.For starters, you can discuss your problems, replacing emotion meaningful arguments.Recognition - better than silence anyway.And if does not glue together a broken life of a family boat, then, again, in peace and quiet, you can come to a unanimous decision - what to do next.
- Who says there is no life after divorce?Who says that there is just waiting for loneliness?According to statistics, woman with her child gets married very quickly .The child - not a hindrance new love, and a second marriage is often a much stronger first.
steps to preserve the family for the child
role of women in the family, the more psychologically flexible partner, always decisive.A woman is able to forgive, to move away from the negative and be the driving force of "progress" in the family.What if relations have cooled, but you can still save the family?
- radically change the situation. Treat each other again.However, experience the joy of new experiences.
- more interested in the second half. man after birth is often away - forgotten and misunderstood.Try to stand in his place.Maybe he was just tired of being unnecessary?
- Be honest with each other. Do not hoard your insults - they can carry both of you then, like an avalanche.If you have a complaint and issues - it is necessary to discuss them at once.Without trust nothing.
Joint life is impossible - what to do?
If the relationship can not be saved, and all attempts to establish a break on the wall of incomprehension and anger, the best option - to disperse, maintaining normal human relationships.
- no reason to lie baby , that all is well.He sees himself.
- makes no sense to lie to yourself - they say, everything will work out.If a family has a chance, the separation will only benefit.
- We can not allow the trauma for your child.He needs calm parents who are happy and self-sufficient life.
- unlikely that a child will say thank you for years lived in an atmosphere of hatred. He does not need such sacrifices .He needs love.And she does not live there, where people hate each other.
- Live a separate awhile.It may be that you're just tired and you need to miss each other.
- Still parted? not let his father in his desire to communicate with the child (unless, of course, he's not a maniac, which should all stay away).Do not use a child as a bargaining chip in its relations with the ex-husband.Think about the interests of the crumbs, instead of their resentments.
Life after divorce and parental attitudes to child
As a rule, after the divorce of a child left with her mother.Well, if the parents are not able to go down to the carve-up of the property and other squabbles.Then the father comes freely to the child, and the baby does not feel abandoned. Find a compromise is always possible. loving mother will find a solution that will provide your child a happy childhood, even in single-parent family.
Should I keep the family for the child?Reviews women
- It depends, in any case, on the circumstances.If persistent drunkenness and scandals, if no care if the money does not bring - to drive the filthy broom a husband.This is not the father, and a child does not need an example.Go to deprive rights and Goodbye, Bob.Especially, if there is an alternative.If more or less, it is possible to forgive and be patient.
- There is no clear answer here.Although you can understand the situation from the behavior of the husband.That is, get it all, and he is ready to reach a consensus.)) The crisis happens in every family.Some are worthy of it, the other divorced.My friend told me that he at one time with his beloved wife could not stay in one apartment.Moreover, he loved her very much, but ... there are times in life.Nothing waits.
- If there is a sense (well, at least some!), You should just be patient, to change the situation, to go on vacation together ... It's just tired, that's fine.Family - is hard work.It's easier to just throw it and run away.And much harder to continually invest in the power relations to give, give.But without it anywhere.
- The husband has lost interest even during pregnancy.First me, and the child was born - so to it was not even of interest.Perhaps, it was difficult to wait for a "possible" (I could not).In general, son of six months, we have met individually.Now he has his own family, I have my own.I did not fight.I think that love can not be forced.It is necessary to let go and move on.But we have a good relationship.The husband comes to me complaining about his new wife))).A son happy, and dad is, and my mother.No quarrels.It has a large - ten soon.And my husband has always been close to him (telephone, weekends, holidays, etc.), So that the son did not feel inferior.
- When the sake of the child - that's normal.Much can be forgiven and suffer for the sake of the child.But when for the sake of the mortgage ... This is a disaster.Do these mothers do not understand.
- We divorced when her daughter was a year.Also I had a choice - to suffer or go.Tolerate his drunken antics, blooming hands and other "Joy", or go nowhere without money and work even without things.I chose the latter, and I do not regret.She filed for divorce on the divestment.Rights are not deprived of nerves battered, but he fell behind me.And I do not even try to see the child.At all.Now I think - what I done, that is gone.Yes, it was hard.We rented a small room, not enough money.But the child did not have to look at all the horrors.And the presence of the pope ... no better than this.