Despite the fact that in modern society, one in three divorced married couple, this unpleasant period of life is quite a traumatic event for anyone.Read: How to save a marriage in just 2 minutes a day?In addition to the division of property and children, divorce for many couples is associated with the loss of friends in common.So today we decided to talk about dealing with mutual friends after the divorce.
content of the article:
- Sociological Research Unit
- friends after the divorce: the opinion of a psychologist
- stories from real life
How to divide friends after the divorce?Sociological studies
If you decide to divorce, be prepared for the fact that you not only parted with her husband, but also a part of mutual friends.Read, as well as the right to file for divorce and how to survive it.
According to the results of sociological research , relations with mutual friends you have radically changed: someone will be on the side of her husband, and someone will support you.But, anywa
However, the fact remains that after breaking up with her husband, most people friends list varies considerably .And this should be ready.
When conducting a survey among 2,000 people who parted with their partners on the issue - «How are your relations with mutual friends?» - received the following answers:
- 31% said their unpleasantsurprised how divorce has affected relationships with friends;
- 65% respondents told that their mutual friends after the divorce maintained relations only with ex-husband (oops).At the same time 49% of them strongly disappointed that lost their old friends, because they started to just avoid them without explaining any reasons;
- 4% respondents simply stopped to chat as relationships with friends become very strained.
Section friends after the divorce: the opinion of a psychologist
Quite often such a situation arises when former spouses "share" mutual friends .Although the part it seems that they themselves are divided, in fact it is not.We are starting to communicate more often with those who allegedly sympathize with us more, and stop to maintain contact with those who took the side of her ex-husband.
But people close to you, which for years have been established relationships, and after your divorce find themselves in a difficult situation .So many are trying to remain neutral, because each of the former spouses to them in their own ways.Most of the friends just do not know how to behave in this situation, what to say, so as not to seem tactless and not to offend anyone.
Therefore, dear women, be wise: there are friends and have a common acquaintances.Time will pass and everything will fall into place.Communicate, invite yourself and go to visit those people who are close to you, who will not once again to discuss your former spouse, especially in the presence of children.And then your life will improve .
How to divide friends after the divorce: real life stories
Pauline, 40 years old:
After the divorce has already passed a lot of time.But I have a spouse still have mutual friends, who have just left after our separation we have the right to invite guests.This is why there was such an unpleasant situation.
friend called me and said, "Get ready and come."We have not seen, so I do not hesitate for a long time.And here, I am there, and my ex-husband also came, and brought his new passion (for which the divorce occurred).
sensations I have something unpleasant, and the atmosphere in the room is quite tense.While I try not to bother, I understand that the pleasure of chatting with friends do not get.And then there's this woman, begins to "post" my ex.Stroked his cheek ... Feminine falls on his chest ... It seems to be ridiculous, but inside is unpleasant and painful ... In my head pop up pictures of our once happy married life, and with it returns the feeling of pain and betrayal.
It turns out that the road and friends, and companies such as before anymore.But how to get out of this situation, I do not know.Share your feelings with a friend, to which she replied, "you're a grown woman!»
Irina, 35 years:
My husband and I lived for four years.We have a joint child.Therefore, after the divorce, we kept good relations not only with him but with his parents, and our common friends.We have often called up, talking.
But when I began a new relationship, I began to move away from his friends.They call are invited to visit.But I myself will not go there, and her new husband the story can not, because there is going to be my ex-husband.So I just spoil all the celebration, and the atmosphere is very tense.
So my advice to you, being in a similar situation, decide that for you is more expensive, the past or the new life.
Luda, 30 years old:
Before the wedding, I had two friends with whom we are together since high school.Over time, we povyvodili married and became friends families met often, went on picnics.But then came a black stripe of my life - divorce.
After my husband and I separated, I called her friends, invite guests, in a movie, or just sit in a cafe.But they always had some excuse.And after yet another failed meeting I go to the grocery store.I see near the windows with alcohol is my ex with his new "love."I think I will not come, why spoil your mood.But then I notice that they were approached by another couple, looking more closely, I realize that this is my girlfriend Natasha, with her husband, and behind them, and she asks with her partner pulled.
And then it dawned on me: "For me, they never have the time, and to communicate with my former time there."And then I realized what had happened.Lonely girlfriend is better to keep away from their husbands.After that, I stopped to call them.
I hope that someday I will have true friends.
Tanya, 25 years old:
After the divorce, her husband's friend, who later became general stopped to chat with me.What honest, I was not very much and wanted to maintain a relationship with them.In their eyes I was the bitch who drove the poor guy on the street.And all my friends were with me.
Vera, 28 years old:
And I have after the divorce has developed quite an interesting situation.Common friends who introduced me to her husband, stayed with me.They have supported me in difficult times, and have become my very close friends.And they tore my former contacts.But this is not my fault, I did against him is not configurable.My hubby and he did not miss, showed itself at its "best" side.