Player in the family: safety rules

By Admin | Home And Family / Psychology
15 March 2016

player Gambling, Gamblers, gambling - names have this problem a lot, but the essence is - gambling addiction.Dependence, which destroys the individual, destroys health, leads to tragedies.Gambler in the family - it is always a source of problems not only for himself but also for his wife, children and even parents.Can you survive next to the player, and how to do it?

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Insidious depending

alcohol, drug and gambling addiction - the phenomenon of the same order.Any relationship gradually becomes only interest in the life of the patient, resulting in degradation of the individual, destroys the family.It is a mistake to believe that gambling are initially defective, stupid or dishonest people: a disease spares no one.

Intrigue any addiction is that it progresses quickly.And if trying drugs, people still sometimes aware that what this experiment on yourself can lead, the gambling fad seems harmless at first.The temptation is great, and it seems that there is nothing wrong in trying to get rich effortl

essly.

But gambling because so called, that is very difficult to stop.The first stage of the disease is characterized by the success of the game, wins.It's addictive.The player can still stop the game, but the more, the more difficult it becomes to do it.

At some point, the situation is changing, the winnings are rare.But the relationship has been formed.Winning is not so important, it ceases to be an end in itself, the player (who does not, however, aware of) carries the process.At this stage there are usually problems in the family and at work, there are financial difficulties.The player begins to lie and dodge takes Beret - a symbol of French charm Beret - a symbol of French charm loans from banks and borrow money from friends, maybe even go on the offense.However, neither he nor the surrounding often do not realize is that the case in the disease.The player usually confident that he can stop the game at any moment.

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Symptoms

How do you know that a loved one has a problem with the game?Wait and seek sincere recognition is usually futile.But we can draw some conclusions, if you look closely to the behavior of a loved one.Worrying signs:

  • loved one has ceased to be interested in something other than the game.He constantly talks about the game or about money (win), all other interests overshadowed.
  • The house began to disappear money.
  • Close began to bring home less money than before.This is always an explanation, for example, have not paid the premium given to someone in debt, was forced to pay someone to become a victim of robbery.
  • Frequent and unexplained delay.For example, the way home from work, instead of forty minutes now takes two or even three hours.
  • Lies and manipulation.
  • Frequent mood swings from euphoria to depression Depression Depression .
  • inability to control the time devoted to the game.That is, the player can easily play the night away on the eve of important negotiations, forgetting about all your needs and all their duties.
  • close does not want to solve the problem and is trying to escape from them.And the best way for him to escape inevitably becomes a game.

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what not to do

news that her husband is a compulsive player - it's always a shock.Believe it is not easy, because passion has always loved it seemed so harmless.Yes, and the player can very convincingly and sincerely say, may at any time to stop playing, and the game for him absolutely nothing.It can even defiantly not play for a while, but it still goes wrong sooner or later.

Most women in this situation are beginning to appeal to the conscience lover.Scandals and attempted bribery, threats and pressure, notation and talk heart to heart - ways to influence the husband has a lot, but they are all useless.Desperate woman files for divorce, but he convinces her not to leave him, begging for salvation.Often a woman agrees to be the savior, but it not only helps the player, but his wife and plunges into the abyss of codependency.Some even decided on having a baby for the correction of her husband, making the baby of the family of the hostage problem.

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How to live

First of all, you must accept the fact that her husband was really sick.You should not deceive ourselves, hoping that the problem will disappear with time.It is not necessary to treat her husband as a healthy and responsible person, you can not believe him - absolutely never.You should not blame him, but also to spare in what he chose his way.

should take steps to protect themselves and their children:

  • best to arrange the player's official divorce.It is possible to continue to live in a civil marriage Civil marriage - it just dies? Civil marriage - it just dies? .At least not have to pay loans taken her husband, denying themselves and their children in all.
  • not be stored at home money and valuables, to inform the player of his PIN bank card.
  • desirable to warn all know the reluctance to be responsible for the debts of the player.Their debts player must pay only the do not need to help him in this.
  • unacceptable to provoke the player, calling him in the casino or offering "to paint the bullet."
  • It should be ready, that the player will still be blamed for their addiction all but himself, and above all - his wife.It makes no sense to persuade him, it is better not to enter into discussions.
  • Do not "save" the player, especially by force.Invaluable assistance it can provide a psychologist who specializes in dependency or free community for anonymous players.But there is no sense to close a doctor's appointment or meeting groups violently.
  • necessary to live your life and not the life of the player, do not forget about their own interests (for children) for a minute.It is not necessary to devote his life to constantly monitor a close.This is the most important rule.Often, this type of behavior seems cruel, but it is - the only way to be saved.
  • Codependency - the same disease, as well as gambling.To cope with this problem can be a psychologist, or with those who have passed this way.Family - is always system and often change the behavior of one family member causes the other to review your lifestyle.

Maria Bykov